Ask Hinata
by Saskuretsu
Summary: Its another Ask story. Since I don't know any other Ask Hinata I'm going to try and be original. Its a comedy like all the other ones. READ OR DIE!
1. Chapter 1

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N I guess I could make one of these. Very few actualy become famous but if I can be at my funniest i should get at least 2 3 reviews per chapter. Yeah you know how these things work i don't have to waste my time.

I neve saw an Ask Hinata and I wanted to be original but if there is too bad I'm still making this

Hinata: Hey where am I

Saskretsu: I have no idea myself but someone advised me to so i'm locking you here for a long time but don't worry i'll be back with friends -comes back hours later with Naruto and Neji- Like I said I'm back with friends

Hinata: Uhhhhhhhhh Naruto-kun!-faints-

Naruto?????? Ok that was weird. Why the hell am I here

Saskuretsu: I trapped you for my entertainment -seal locks shut- -tv appears and Saskuretsu face appears-

Saskuretsu: I'm speaking through the TV. You will be forced to answer questions, dares, and presents

Neji: That doesn't sound so bad as long as the fans supply us with food

Saskuretsu: I know I'll annoy you with Lee throws Lee into the room

Lee: Hello everyone I'm the handsome devil of the Konoha

Saskuretsu: Go to hell retard. Time to answer questions -Hinata wakes up- These are from tebowave my good friend

Lee: You have friends Mr. Voice on the TV

Neji: Ignore him, just ignore him

_Hinata what are your views on Hyugacest and Neji what are yours_

Neji: Eh It's alright

Hinata: Whats Hyugacest

Naruto: Its when you and Neji get it on

Hinata: Well...ummm...I don't like it. Cousins shouldn't marry its wrong and immoral

Saskuretsu: Not enough people -throws Gaara, Sasuke, and Sakura into the room-

Sakura: Where am I

Naruto: We're locked in a room

Gaara: I'll kill whoever did this

Sasuke: How'd he find me. I was with Orochimaru

Naruto: You!!!Sasuke I'll get you now -lunges at Sasuke-

Sasuke: -sidesteps and kicks Naruto in the stomach-

Naruto: -retreats and leaves Sasuke alone-

Saskuretsu: These are all from now until the end of the chapter from tebowave

_Sasuke are you gay and Sakura get over him he's a gay loser_

Sakura: I am over him and he is gay

Sasuke: Yep I'm gay. I sleep with Orochimaru, did you know he is Michael Jackson's brother

Naruto: No but I had a feeling

Lee: Ohhh what is the question and why am I not getting any. I demand respect for A.D.D. its the oposite of subtraction

Sakura: Lee you're a dumb son of bitch go away

Lee: Ohhhh Sakura you can't repel me i am handsome

Sakura: -cracks up laughing- You handsome! Thats hilarious. You're about as handsome as kitten stuck in a cactus

Lee: -sulks in corner-

_Lee why are you so dumb_

_Naruto are you still stupid and annoying_

Lee: I'm not dumb. My mom says i'm just retarded

Saskuretsu: Lee shut up. Hinata is the host and she only has a couple of lines

Hinata: No its alright I don't talk much

_Naruto why don't you get over Sakura and go out with Hinata_

_Hinata why don't you admit your love for Naruto_

_Neji can you teach me the ways of the 64 point stuff its awesome_

Naruto: Sakura is a beautiful smart angel

Saskuretsu: So is Hinata

Naruto: i didn't say she wasn't

Saskuretsu: So you like her

Naruto: -blush- maybe

Hinata: I don't know he might reject me

Neji: I can't teach you its hereditary

_Seeing as though you can't survive without food I give Hinata some sushi and Loisiana boiled crawfish_

Hinata: Arigato i really appreciate your gifts and I have never had crawfish -eats one- hot, spicy, need water

Saskuretsu: -Gives Hinata glass of water-

Hinata: -drinks all of it in one gulp- ahh that feels better

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Gaara: Hey we're hungry too

Saskuretsu: Oh I know what will make this crazier -throws Haku in

Naruto: Hey Kakashi-sensei killed you whats the deal

Haku: I really don't know. I was in heaven 1 minute then the next I'm here

-Saskuretsu hrows Zabuza in as well-

_So Haku did you and Zabuza ever do anything. Like are you just friends or something more_

Haku: I don't understand the question

Zabuza: Yes in fact Haku's quite good in bed

Everyone but Haku and Zabuza: Gasp

Naruto: Thats disgusting

Sasuke: Dude thats not that bad considering what me and Itachi did

A/N I'm not a fan of Yaoi in fact I'm completely against it its just everyone knows Sasuke, Haku, and Zabuza are gay and Itachi is bi. I even believe that

Saskuretsu: Too many gay people it burns more people should help -throws in Itachi, Deidara, Kakashi, and Kurenai-

Kakashi: Where are we

Sasuke: Somewhere

Gaara: I'm the kazekage you can't keep me in here

Lee: Ohh Why Gai-sensei join so we can

Sasuke: talk about youth, man hugs, or lecture about being stronger

Lee: All of the above

Sakura: You sicken me

Lee: Noooooooo Sakura rejects me -head explodes-

Sakura: Its ok he's such a low life form he can regenerate

Lee: -regenerates head- My head blows up when I'm upset

Sakura: I reject you

Lee: Noooooooooooo -head blows up again- -regenerates again-

Hinata: Maybe we should answer some more questions

_Kakashi who would you rather go out with Anko or Kurenai_

_Deidara who do you think you should be paired with_

_Hinata since you are the coolest character in Naruto i dare you to tongue kiss Naruto_

_Itachi did you have incest with Sasuke_

Kakashi: Thats a tough one. They're both great people but i'd go with Anko

Deidara: uhhhhh I dunno

Saskuretsu: Deidara, Itachi, and Kisame are the only Akatsuki characters I know

Hinata: -tries to kiss Naruto but faints when her lips tap Naruto's

Naruto: Awwwwwwww

Sakura: Oh so you do like Hinata

Naruto: Yeah so she's hot and nice and has a great personality like you but you don't like me so...yeah

Sasuke: Actually no its just a myth

Itachi: Well there was this one time when I was sleep walking and I dreamt Sasuke as a hot chick and raped him while I was sleeping

Sasuke: It was horrible he kept calling me Cherl and kept saying thats a nice whore whos my whore

Sakura: -laughing- The mighty Sasuke was raped by his sleeping brother

Naruto: You know Sasuke your in the Konoha right now so once he lets us out i have to bring you in

Sasuke: Aw Shit

_So Sakura if your not paired with Sasuke or Naruto who will you be paired with_

Sakura: Itachi! He's not gay. He mature and he's ruthless

Itachi: Oh god! not another fan-girl

Sakura: i'm not a fan-girl

Itachi: Your right. Your an ugly hideous Yeti

Sakura: Hmm I give up on Itachi so maybe Neji no he's got Tenten. Gaara! no he's weird. Kakashi, Hell no i'm so lonely

Itachi: -thinks- maybe dating Sakura wouldn't be that bad

Hinata: -wakes up- uh Naruto-kun about that kiss

Naruto: Ok -tongue kisses Hinata--

Hinata suprisingly doesn't faint-

Naruto: That was awesome -Hinata throws from being nervous-

Saskuretsu: More People -throws in crazy Chinese workoholic, Anko, and Tenten-

Anko: Who the hell are you -pointing at Chinese dude-

Chinese Dude: What you want for Christmas

Anko: ...

Chinese Dude: Too Late next -throws Anko onto Kakashi-

Kakashi: -blushes- uhh Anko you can get off me

Anko: Nah i'm good

Sasuke: You know i'm surprised noone has said anything about me being emo

_Sasuke why are you emo_

Sasuke: Aw Damn it. I'm not emo

Naruto: Suuuurrrreee

Sasuke: Fuck you

Naruto: You'd like that Sas-gay

Itachi: Oh Buned

Sasuke: Uh I know I'm gay

Itachi: Shut up log boy

Sasuke: Huh

Itachi: Nothing

Sakura: Next question

_Sakura_ _Whats with the inner thing. Are you schitzaphrenic_

Sakura: No not really. The inner thing is to promote comedy

Lee: Haha Sakura funny comlicated words

Sakura: No I didn't I used everyday words

Saskuretsu: Time for you to sleep

Hinata: But its 4:00PM

-Throws sleeping gas

E/A/N Thats the end of the first chapter the second chapter will be very funny I just need reviews


	2. Chaos Total Utter Chaos

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N I'm glad I'm getting so many hits so fast but I'm getting so many hits but only few reviews please review

Kakashi: huh I feel kinda drowsy -notices Anko is still on top of him- Anko please get of me -Anko wakes up-

Anko: Take your mask off and I will

Kakashi: -takes mask off to reveal another one- there happy

Anko: I meant show me your face

Kakashi: -removes seven masks to reveal his face. Angels start singing Alayluyah in the background- There I have humiliated myself

Anko: I don't think you look ugly

Hinata: Welcome everyone to chapter 2 of Ask Hinata

Sasuke: Who declared you host -Saskuretsu's face appears on the TV-

Saskuretsu: Me

Sasuke: But I wanna be host. I'm the most popular character on the show -does heroic pose-

Naruto: Try least popular

Hinata: Time for the questions this one is from Kabuto's Rose

Itachi: 10 bucks its a Kabuto fan-girl

_Oh! I shall review because I know how hard it is to start one of these!_

Sasuke: Is there a reason why your name is sasUKE or was it just your misfortune to always be one the bottom.

Sakura: OMFG! The inner you rocks - I have an inner me, but most of the time it's depressed... wait, that's just the normal me... Cool, I'm just like Sasuke... But i'd much rather be seme...

Lee: If you regenerate enough could you create a head without bushy eyebrows and a bowl haircut? Also, did you and Gai-sensei steal Gaara's eyebrows? My friend and I have a joke that you and guy each stole one of his eyebrows...

Naruto: Who's prettier? Sakura or Hinata?

Gaara: Why the hell did you steal my eyeliner?!

Hinata: You rock! Um... yeah, no questions...

Anyway... KABUTO ROCKS, just had to say that cause he's so smexy...  
Rose

Sasuke: What does UKE mean

Naruto: It means gay I think

Sasuke: I am gay no doubt about it

Sakura: Thank you and I didn't know other people had inners I thought I was schitzophrenic now I know there are others like me

Inner Sakura: I do rock don't I CHA!

Lee: Of course I could but the eyebrows make me handsome and the hair makes handsome as well

Sakura: Your an obsessed freak

Lee: Gai-sensei did not steal gaara's eyebrows I did

Gaara: You can keep i don't want em' anymore. They touched you and are now infected with stupidity

Naruto: They are both beautiful but I'd have to say Hinata-chan

Gaara: I did not steal your eyeliner my eyes are black because of my insomnia

Hinata: Arigato i appreciate your compliment and its nice to know people appreciate me

Itachi: FAN GIRL FAN GIRL REPORT TO YOUR WAR POST AND PREPARE TO DEFEND YOURSELF FAN GIIIIIRRRRRLLLLLLLL AAAAAAAAHHHHH -eyes blow- My eyes now robotic ones like Luke Skywalker

Sasuke: Actually he had a robotic hand

Sakura: Sasuke watches star wars -starts laughing hystericaly- what a nerd

Itachi: He needed a hobby so he watched Star Wars and got obsessed with it. He has Darth Vader pajamas that he sleeps in every single day and it tortured my eyes

Sasuke: You know whats really surprising

Naruto: What

Sasuke: Noone has asked about Itachi murdering our clan

Itachi: That is weird

Kurenai: So tell us why did you kill your clan

Itachi: -screws in light bulbs as eyes and the light bulbs light up- ah I can see again. Saskuretsu said I have to answer questions from fans not from other people in this room

Saskuretsu: He's actually got a point. I did say that. Next question is from almostinsane

_Great chapter! Hey, I got a question. Neji what do you dream about at night? God bless! (please keep it teen or below)_

Neji: Yay my first line of the chapter. I dream about killing the main branch well I used to now I dream stuff that is above teen and its about Tenten and sometimes even Hinata

Naruto: Thats nasty

Neji: I don't choose my dreams. Its hormones

Lee: Haha Neji use big word that Lee no understand

Neji: Hormones thats a kindergarden word

Sakura: Thats probably more than Lee's education

Lee: I no go to school. They said i was retarded but I am not retarded look at me now

Sakura: Major case of denial I'd say

Sasuke: Ditto

Naruto: Did you just say dildo

Hinata: what is that

Naruto: Nobody really knows

Sasuke: I said ditto you know it means same. Like I agree with a person

Naruto: Oh

Sasuke: But a dildo is -gets cut off by Sakura

Sakura: Is nothing -glares at Sasuke- right Sasuke

Sasuke: Yes master

Sakura: Go get me a glass of water

Sasuke: Screw you

Neji: You're gay why'd you wanna do that

Naruto: Haha

Sasuke: Shut up White eye boy

Neji: You made fun of Hinata too when you said

Sasuke: Who gives a crap I don't even know her that well

Saskuretsu: Shut up she's the host she has full authority over reality in this room

Hinata: Cool -bangs Sasuke against the wall just by thinking about it-

Sasuke: stop ow it ow my spine -Hinata stops and makes Sasuke not able to breathe-

Hinata: This is awesome

Naruto: Hinata you're acting out of character

Hinata: I apoligize -allows Sasuke to breathe again

Saskuretsu: The next question is from Seret

_haha hilarious I love it my questions are _

_Itachi why'd you kill your entire clan _

_Sakura Are you a lesbian _

_Sasuke Why are you so emo _

_Kurenai are your eyes always red _

_Kakashi your 26 and your hairs grey. Whats up with that _

_Naruto: You're so cool in the Shippuden noone can ever call you annoying again _

_Hinata You're the strongest coolest most awesome female character. Why is your dad so mean to you_

Itachi: I killed them because my dad said I couldn't have a pet bunny

Sakura: Thats a stupid reason, your stupid

Itachi: That may be but i wanted a bunny to hold and love and to call Mr.Furry But

Sasuke: I'm an insane emo bastard because you wanted a pet bunny. I hate you such much -starts sobbing and sits in emo corner-

Sakura: Of course I'm not a lesbian

Neji: Damn it -everyone stares at Neji and there's an akward silence- What? I was going to video tape hot Lesbian sex and sell it for lots of money

-Every female in the room hits Neji as hard as they can-

Tenten(I forgo to give her lines): Neji you pervert I outta kill you with every weapon i have

Neji: Gulp I'm scared

Sasuke: I'm emo because i miss my mommy

Sakura: You suck

Anko: Eh I'm an orphan its not that bad

Sasuke: Yeah but my brother killed them and I had to watch

Itachi: Actually you weren't there

Sasuke: Shut up -starts crying again and sits in the emo corner and sulks-

Kakashi: My hair is grey because it has no pigment. I guess I'm albino I have 1 red eyes

Anko: Uh Kakashi thats your Sharigan eye

Kakashi: Oh yeah I guess its nautral

Saskuretsu: Asuma your free

Asuma: Why

Saskuretsu: Because I can't think of any lines for you

-Asuma is teleported out-

Kakashi: No fair

Kurenai: Oh Shut up

Anko: I like daggers

Naruto: That was random

Anko: Yes, Yes it was

Naruto: ...

Lee: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH Sakura I ask out now

Sakura: Why do you need me your such an idiot you reproduce by budding

-Lee's finger falls off and turns into a 4 inch Lee-

Mini-Lee: -in mini voice- ooooohhhh Sakura will you go out with me

Sakura: ...thats weird

Naruto: Cool I'm glad I have admirers

Hinata: my father is mean to me because he thinks I'm weak and worthless and thank you for the compliment I didn't know I had so many fans

Sakura: You underestimate yourself

Neji: Yeah you are the strongest kunoichi i know

Tenten: ahem

Neji: other than Tenten. Please don't hurt me master

Saskuretsu: This is too rich I'm lovin' it. Anyways the next question is from million bullets. Ow that would hurt

_good chapter. I got a question for Hinata: How many hours do you spy on Naruto? update_

Hinata: I don't spy on him -shifty eyes- I just follow him wherever he goes

Naruto: You did I didn't notice

Sakura: Oh come on even I noticed her even though my ninja skills were weak

Naruto: I feel really stupid and oblivious

Sasuke: Finally

Naruto: Thats comin' from the kid that was molested by Michael Jackson's brother

Sasuke: Actually I lied. Orochimaru is a shim

Everyone but Sasuke: Gasp

Anko: Somehow I saw it coming

Sasuke: You did serve him for a while you'd figure you'd know

Anko: I knew he was gay because he never molested me

Kakashi: Who wouldn't other than a gay guy

Anko: Is that a compliment

Kakashi: Yes

Anko: Its kind of twisted compliment. I mean seriously molesting. I'm glad he didn't I would've been scarred for life

Kakashi: I don't know my head hurts right now

Saskuretsu: Ok y'all can't go insane yet

Sakura: Did he just say y'all. Is he from the country

Saskuretsu: Is New Orleans the country, no. Its the city. It's just everyone says it. Even I do even though i go to a gifted school

Sasuke: Spare me your life story and your name is kinda like mine are you a fan

Saskuretsu: No my screen name is a typo. I'm not changin' it because it might cause problems. It's supposed to be Sekuretsu

Sasuke: I suppose thats kinda cool

Saskuretsu: Kinda?

Sasuke: Yeah kinda

Gaara: Saskuretsu get me out now and i promise I won't kill you...slow...I'll kill you quickly

Deidara: Yeah thats no better. Well I'm not getting any questions so why am I here

Saskuretsu: Alot of people like you and I need more publicity so...yeah I need you here

Deidara: Thats a stupid reason

Saskuretsu: Tell that to your fan-girls

Itachi: AHHHHHHHH FAN-GIRLS -Light bulb eyes explode and the glass goes into Lee's skull

Lee: Good thing my mom says my skull is thick and I have no brain to damage

Sakura: Why Lee Why

Lee: My moher beat me in the head when I was little and i got lots of brain damage and my father raped me

Kakashi: I find that mildly tradgic

Sakura: Mildly?

Kurenai: Isn't Gai your father

Lee: No he just adopted me and raped me like my father

Naruto: Are your parents in prison

Lee: Of course I visit them everyday

Hinata: I can alter reality right?

Saskuretsu: Of course

Hinata: Lee I now make as intelligent as BRAINZILLA

Lee: -starts explaining complicated trigonometry-

Sakura: First he was too dumb and now he's too smart

Hinata: This isn't as fun as I thought it would be -turns Lee back to his regular self because I can't say normal cause he's far from it-

A/N i make fun of Lee so much because I hate him and Ino. They are the only characters I can't stand

Saskuretsu: Yeah that was fun the .5 milliseconds it lasted

Hinata: -makes Naruto's pants fall down with her powers and Naruto wasn't wearing underwear-

Sakura: MY EYES. MY BEAUTIFUL VIRGIN EYES

Lee: MY YOUTHFUL VIRGIN EYES

-Naruto pulls his pants up-

Naruto: Sorry. Everyone who isn't a virgin raise your hand -Sasuke, Kakashi, Kurenai, and Itachi raise their hands-

Itachi: I had sex with some chick in Akatsuki

Kurenai: Asuma

Kakashi: My sensei

Sasuke: Orochimaru

Naruto: Gee Sasuke we all didn't know that

Gaara: Kakashi was your sensei a girl

Kakashi: No he raped me

Kurenai: There are alot of raped people in this room

Hinata: I remember Neji came into my room sleepwalking and he was naked. Luckily he woke up when I spoke to him

Neji: I dreamt it was Tenten

Tenten: I don't know whether to be flattered or disgusted

Neji: You wanna do it

Tenten: With you yeah. Now, no

Neji: You mean when we get out

Tenten: No I mean when hell freezes over

Neji: Dine I'll just rape you

Everyone: WHAT!

Neji: I said nothing

Sakura: Take some birthcontrol pills now it'll help more

Tenten: You know this how

Sakura: My mother told me

Hinata: Thats weird

Saskuretsu: Does anyone want ino in this parody

Everyone: NO. ANYONE BUT INO EVEN OROCHIMARU

Sasuke: Especially Orochimaru

Naruto: You are sick, you hear me man

Gaara: You just noticed it

Naruto: No I noticed it the day he tried to rape me. It was a dark day. June 37, 1444

**Flashback**

Naruto: Hi Sasuke whats up

Sasuke: I'm going to rape you

Naruto: You're gay!?

Sasuke: Ever since the day my brother raped my mother

Naruto: Thats kinda scary

Sasuke: Kinda?

Naruto: Well really creepy

Sasuke: Yeah so come with me or I'll rape you by force

Naruto: -runs away screaming Sasuke is gay-

**End of Flashback**

Gaara: That's disgusting

Saskuretsu: Next Question is from my best friend tebowave

_Haha. You're welcome for the inspiration. I have a dare for Hinata, Go make out with Sakura, Go to Itachi and let him perform your plastic surgery, Eat a hampster, Sprout wings of a bat, Perform heart surgery on yourself, and go to a hot dog eating contest, while singing row row row your boat through a carwash_

Saskuretsu: Da F you talkin about I got my inspiration from AngelLucifel

Hinata: No

Saskuretsu: I agree with Hinata you only have to do the first, third, sixth, and the seventh

Hinata: This is gonna hurt my pride

Itachi: YURI FAN-BOY YURI FAN-BOY REPORT TO YOUR WAR POSTS AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH -The light bulbs that he put in explode again and he screws new ones in-

Sakura: We don't have war post and stop exploding

Itachi: THEN HEAD FOR THE HILLS

Sasuke: We're trapped in a dungeon there are no hills

Itachi: THEN PREPARE FOR BATTLE AGAINST THE CRAZY FAN-BOYS AND GIRLS AND MAYBE EVEN ITS

Gaara: Shut the hell up incest man

Itachi: Hey thats not funny

Hinata: -gives Sakura a light kiss- There

Saskuretsu: The third

Hinata: But I love hamsters

Saskuretsu: Just eat it

Hinata: -Takes whole hamster and swallows it- I can't do the sixth until I get out or the seventh

Saskuretsu: Good point -looks at the time- Its 6:00 PM(The day after the last time they were knocked)

-Throws sleeping gas and knocks everyone out-

Saskuretsu: That ends another segment of Ask Hinata

E/A/N Thats chapter 2. The longest chapter of any story I've ever written so enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW. I NEED REVIEWS. I beg of thee. Give me reviews please


	3. Itachi gets high

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N Hurray for the 3rd segment thank you all for your support. I love you all not in a gay way if your a guy. Enjoy the crazy randomness of chapter 3

Saskuretsu: WAKE THE HELL UP

Hinata: But its so early

Saskuretsu: Tell it to someone who gives a shit

Hinata: -checks her watch- oh its 7:00AM I guess thats reasonable

Itachi: Go to hell I need my beauty sleep

Sasuke: Alot of it

Itachi: Screw you

Sasuke: Your gay?

Naruto: Ok seriously we gotta stop doing that

Sakura: -wakes up- doing what wait you did Sasuke

Naruto: No when someone says screw you they say your gay or something like that. Its quite annoying

Saskuretsu: This question or dare actually was given to me personally by tebowave

_Itachi here os some crack. I dare you to smoke all 5 kilos_

Itachi: Do I really have to

Saskuretsu: The fans demand it

Itachi: -smokes a whole kilo- oh thats some good crack -eyes turn blood red-

Sakura: Deactivate your sharigan

Sasuke: I don't think its on

Itachi: -in a drunk like voice- I like black deer it taste like my sheetrock of my house

Tenten: You have a house!?

Itachi: I live in the village hidden in the trojan horse

Sasuke: You're not Greek. Your Uchiha which is Japanese

Itachi: So does Chris Berman

Neji: The ESPN sports host

Tenten: You watch ESPN I love sports!

Neji: Awesome, awesome to the max

Gaara: Can we move on to the next question

Saskuretsu: The next one is from Kabuto's fan-girl, Kabuto's Rose

Itachi: FAN-GIRL -gets interrupted-

Sakura: Why are so freaked out by fan-girls and boys

Itachi: I don't answer to you now as I was say -takes deep- FA -interrupted again-

Saskuretsu: Shut the hell up

_KYAA! You guessed right - I'm a Kabuto fangirl (actually the inner me is a Orochimaru fangirl - no joke). I'm not going to tell you what uke and seme mean... but if you really want to know you can look it up on wikipedia - they give examples. Anyway, I have a host of new questions,_

Tenten: Under what circumstances would you make out with Neji?

Gaara: My eyeliner is missing and you have huge rings around your eyes, GIVE ME BACK MY EYELINER DAMN YOU!

Neji & Hinata: Do you ever use the byakugan to peek at people, and then have someone totally disturbing walk by, like... Gai-sensei.

And Finally...

Are you guys ever going to have a birthday partay? If so can I go? I'll bring my large (and horribly fangirlish) collection of Kabuto and Orochimaru plushies!

Sque!  
Rose

Tenten: Under all. -whispers Neji's hot-

Neji: I heard that and I have no complaints

Gaara: I already told you I have insomnia. I'm not gay, I don't even use eyeliner so I most certainly did not steal it

Temari: Yeah right I see you applying all the time

Everyone: TEMARI!

Gaara: When'd you get here nii-chan(I think that means older sister or is it nee-chan. I dunno)

Temari: You called me nii-chan, thats a first

Gaara: This room is making me feel ni -starts laughing hysterically-

Itachi: GAARA IS LAUGHING EVERYONE HEAD FOR THE -starts laughing as well-

Hinata: I think he filled the room with laugh -starts laughing like everyoneelse

-Everyone starts laughing until they cry from stomach pain-

Saskuretsu: I filled the room with laughing gas. i'm getting a kick out of it

Hinata: Stop hahaha now ha please hahahahahahahahaha

Saskuretsu: Alright I'll fill with helium

Sasuke: Wait -helium starts to effect everyones voice- -in helium voice- our lungs with freeze

-Everyone is talking in helium voice-

Saskuretsu: I was kill you guys eventually so who cares

Hinata: Even me?

Saskuretsu: I was still deciding

Kakashi: Damn you Asuma. I hope you get lung cancer

Kurenai: This sucks

Naruto: Why do the good die young

Sakura: You're not good

Hinata: Seeing as though we're going to die I will say this. Naruto-kun I love you

Naruto: What you'd say!?

Hinata: I said -gets interrupted-

Saskuretsu: Time to turn the helium off -turns it off- -everyones voice returns to normal-

Naruto: What did you say before, Hinata?

Hinata: Nothing. I said absolutely nothing. If you suspect anything your a suspicious moron

Naruto: ...? What'd you say!!!???

Hinata: Sorry Naruto

Neji: You having your period or something -clocked in the head by Tenten-

Tenten: Pervert! Don't you think thats a little personal

Neji: I'm her cousin

Itachi: The farmer said I was a duck cow that bark bark wolf I am a wombat

Sakura: We've lost Itachi

Sasuke: To drugs. What an ironically horrible fate

Neji: Actually I peek into the girls bath house with my byakugan

Hinata: I use mine to peek into Naruto's pants

Naruto: AAAAAHHHHH Hinata are you serious

Hinata: No I just wanted to try and be funny

Naruto: It wasn't funny. You scared me for a second

Crazy Chinese Dude: Why come I not get no lines in second chapter

Itachi: Because the man in the white suit said the chicken ate my sandwhich

Chinese Dude: Oh chicken to blame. I must kill chicken -starts chasing Lee with a garden hoe-

Saskuretsu: The next question is from hannibal221

Itachi: Don't eat me I taste like human

Sasuke: Really I totally thought you tasted like chicken

Sakura: Only you would know

Neji: Sasuke got burned

_I have a a question and a dare for hinata  
Q:when are you planning on telling naruto your in love with him? he's been hinting at the fact he likes you so you dont need to fear regection  
D:i dare you to give naruto a blowjob_

and a dare for naruto  
D:rape hinata

Hinata: I told him. He didn't hear me. Not my problem

Gaara: Well actualy it -interrupted-

Hinata: Shut up

Naruto: I think it really is her period

Sakura: -hits Naruto in the head- Thats none of your business

Hinata: Uh this story is rated T

Naruto: I will when I get out of here

Hinata: I'll make sure I call the police in advance

Itachi: I have a flying tractor bird and he has AIDS

Anko: What does that have to do with anything

Itachi: My sexiness

Sasuke: I'm trying to figure out why he smoked the crack

Itachi: -smokes another kilo and starts singing I believe I can fly- You know what sometimes I miss my mommy and I sleep in bunny pajamas

Neji: -whispers- hey Naruto Itachi is telling his inner most secrets. Blackmail him?

Naruto: -whispers- Hell Yeah

Itachi: I regret murdering my clan and joining Akatsuki. Sometimes I touch myself when I think about lesbian porn and watch it

Naruto: -writing he says down-

Neji: -recording everything he says with a tape recorder-

Saskuretsu: -he has a video cam. so he just sits down a listens-

Hinata: Naruto-kun would you like to go a date when we get out of here

Naruto: -not paying attention to question- No now go away

Hinata: See he rejected me -sits in comfy chair that appears and cries-

Sakura: You didn't pay attention to the question baka and now you hurt Hinata's feelings

Naruto: I did

Neji: You're an asshole

Tenten: You're one to talk

Itachi: And my favorite animal is chalk board chalk

Gaara: Thats not animal

Temari: Your favorite animal isn't an animal

Gaara: Please don't say I'll do anything

Temari: Give me a foot massage

Gaara: -grudgingly gives Temari a foot massage-

Itachi: I like foot massages. I like to eat feet it taste like my cat

Lee: You have a cat!? My mom says i can't have an animal because I'll kill it

Sakura: Lee shut up

Lee: Noooooo Sakura rejects me yet again -head explodes-

Sasuke: Thats getting old

-head doesn't regenerate and Lee neck starts squirting out blood-

Saskuretsu: Finally I wanted him to die

Hinata: Why didn't he regenerate

-Lee's fingers, toes, and penis falls off and turns into mini-Lee's

Sakura: AAAAHHHH Theres 10 of em'

Hinata: Why 10 i thought 11

Sasuke: Don't be stupid lee doesn't have a penis

Neji: He didn't regenerate because the species Lee only lives 12 years then it dies and all of its appendages turn into children

Gaara: Thats creepy

Chinese Dude: Oh Lee must die. He killed my grasshopper

Tenten: Who are you

Chinese Dude: Lou Jong the mighty ruler of China

Neji: Then why are you here

Lou: The fans seem to like me, I am super Chinese man hooooooooooooooooooooo

Hinata: This keeps getting weirder and weirder

The next question is from million bullets

_That was a screwed up chapter. For Anko: Do you think i'm sexy?(Yuri is great). Dare for Itachi: Rape Sasuke in front of Lee. update. that was crazy chapter._

Hinata: Well now with Itachi high, its only gonna get weirder

Anko: If you look like Kakashi

Naruto: You like Kakashi!?

-crickets churp in background-

Hinata: Naruto-kun thats kinda obvious

Haku: i don't even know Anko or Kakashi and I knew that

Sakura: So how was heaven

Zabuza: It was horrible. I had to help little bunnies get across the river and go to war well that was fun still -starts sulking in a corner mumbling about the war-

Haku: KYAA I loved it

Naruto: ...How can you hate heaven Zabuza?

Zabuza: Easy when you're like me. A brutal heartless killer

Sasuke: Are you a transvestite Haku

Naruto: I think somebody already asked that

Haku: No I'm a girl

Zabuza: You're a boy

Haku: Oh that explains the p

Itachi: Swiming in a sea potatoes is like eating crap that like sugar

Everyone: ...Oo

Itachi: (0-0 means crack eyes) 0-0 hehehe crack is good -smokes another kilo-

Saskuretsu: Great job tebowave. You got Itachi addicted to crack

tebowave: -another TV appears and tebowaves face shows up- I know I did a great job

Everyone but Itachi: Oo

Naruto: WTF

Itachi: -in a musical tone- I like rowing boats rowing boat rowing boats hiyah ooohhhh eeeeeehhhhh weo

Sasuke: Why god, why

Neji: We're ninjas we don't have a god

Gaara: I worship the devil

Everyone but Itachi and Deidara: Oo WHAT!!!!!!!!!!

Deidara: Uhhh Akasuki worships the devil as well. Right Itachi

Itachi: I have Lynphoma

Naruto: ...oooook

Deidara: Oh yeah I have genital herpes

Sakura: How'd you get that

Deidara: My hands have mouths you know how much germs they pick up and when i throw up I put my hands on the toilet so...yeah

Sasuke: Thank god Lee is dead or Itachi would have to rape in front of him

Sakura: Now he has to rape you in front of the mini-Lee's

Saskuretsu: I like the way you think. Million Bullets You are right. Yuri is awesome. Go lesbian pornography

tebowave: hurray for lesbians

All the females in the room: PERVERTS WE OUTTA KILL YOU

Saskuretsu: I'm out here, you're in there. You can't kill me

Hinata: -thinks- Hmmm powers to alter reality. I'm gonna make him come out here

Saskuretsu: I can read your thoughts and no your powers can't phase me

Hinata: Aw Damn it

Everyone but Itachi: Did Hinata just curse!?

Hinata: No I said Aw darn it

Itachi: -rubs his but on the floor like a dog- I'm a gerbil tweet tweet

Temari: You know what i'm bored. What do we have for entertainment

-Everyone points at Itachi-

Temari: No other entertainment!?

Sakura: Well we had Lee's stupidity but you know he is dead now

Mini Lee 1: -Singing in Italian- Marlyto ne Danyyo Ell Referdno bechi conbeso

Sasuke: Was that Italian?

(I don't know if it is but just pretend it is)

Sakura: Mini Lee has a brain!?

Mini Lee 2: El Rio Dessionaro

(I know thats Spanish. I think its a place actually but I don't know what it means so...yeah)

Sakura: Oo the Mini Lee's are smart

Saskuretsu: Its the eve of Armageddon

Mini Lee 3: 4n - 3 of tax rate34g x f to the 4 power

Gaara: Mini Lee 3 knows math AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Itachi: I know math. Doggy + Hamster tomatoe danunununununununaaaaaaaaa Cat Man the science guy

Mini Lee 4: Itachi inabilty to speak actualt logic has put us in a confusing quandry

Deidara: Oo how is this possible. Lee is friken retarded and Mini Lee's are amazingly smart. My brain hurts

Mini Lee 5:overhinking of a situation can often cause a migrane

Naruto: This is kinda scary. Mini Lee 5 is a science nerd

Sakura: To avoid further confusion I'm going to do this -chainsaw sounds heard in background and Mini Lees screams eventually stop-

Itachi: Death is fun its like eating a puppy

Deidara: Oo

Itachi:-smokes last 2 kilos- I'm high as a kite in the morning toilet

Saskuretsu: Ok time for a question. This one is from ItachiUchiha17

Itachi: -snaps out of highness- FAN-GIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MOMMY MOMMY HELP ME SHE'S GONNA TIE ME UP AND LOCK ME IN A CLOSET LIKE THAT OTHER ONE...HUNDRED...THOUSAND

_I also would like to know if you are afraid of becoming blind from your managekyou(sp) sharingan? Last but not least to Gaara if you had to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with who would it be? You can't pick you. everybody Naruto I got a month's worth of ramen for you and Gaara some cookies for you and pocky for everyone else except Sasgay and Sakura. So Hinata, you evil genius, when are you going to show the world just how awesome you really are? Neji I've heard rumors that you are a serious slut. Are those rumors true? Deidara your a little hottie but you know that 'un' (or yeah) that you do after almost every sentence is annoying. So to make yourself even hotter could you please stop doing that? So Sasgay you admit that you went with Orochimaru because you're gay right? If that's not the reason you went then why did you go? Did you know that Itachi is stronger than Orochimaru anyway? Itachi why are you afraid of fangirls and boys? I happen to be one of your many fangirls and I'm not here to glomp you or anything like that. rself_

Itachi: I'm not afraid of going blind wait I CAN GO BLIND. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

Gaara: Dude WTF you didn't know

Sasuke: You murdered our clan and now they're getting revenge by making you blind. Then when you turn blind, I'll kill

Sakura: Thats dishonorable even for you, Sasuke

Sasuke: Go screw a fire hydrant

Itachi: i just did

Gaara: Oo...anyways I'd spend the rest my life with...Temari or kankuro or maybe even Naruto since they're my only friends

Hinata: I'll be your friend

Haku: I'll be your friend

Gaara: I guess it is easy to make friends

Naruto: hoooo a months supply of ramen -faints-

Gaara: who is the one that spread the rumor thst I like cookies so much

Itachi: I didn't do it

Zabuza: Wow great cover up

Gaara: Ok maybe cookies are alright

Sasuke and Sakura: Hey what'd i do

Hinata: I'm not evil -shifty eyes- if you think I'm evil your a suspicios moron

Naruto: Hinata calm down

Hinata: I will show them when i win Naruto's heart

Neji: -whispers- you already have. He likes you you know

Neji: I'm no slut. Men can't be sluts unless they're gay. Am I gay. that was retorical

Deidara: I say yeah because its like my thing to say all of the time like in the english dub where Naruto constantly says believe it

Naruto: Thats a stupid catchphrase. Believe It, stupid Americans

Deidara: I am hot aren't I

Sasuke: You're being sarcastic right and yes I went with Orochimaru for power and. Itachi is stronger than Orochimaru!?

Itachi: Damn Right

Itachi: I'm afraid of fan-girls because they locked me in a closet and dressed me in a bunny suit and forced me to hop sroung singing Puff the Magic Dragon while they laughed

Itachi: YOU'RE A FAN-GIRL!? Oh well at least you won't glomp me or kidnap -squeaky voice- right

Saskuretsu: Its getting late so time to sleep

Hinata: No wait one more question

Saskuretsu: Fine

Naruto: -enjoying his ramen-just end it already

Saskuretsu: Yeah we should just end it

Hinata: But

Saskuretsu: No buts I don't tolerate buts

Mini Lee's: Have a safe drug free day

E/A/N Hurray for chapter 3. I never thought I'd have so many questions but i still need more so I don't have to fill in space with rambling. I know most of the time its funny and i will never take it out. The amount of it will always stay the same i just ned more qustions. C'mon people open your imagination. Gimme all the questions you got well not all but please not 1 question perchapter please at least 2 thank you and there is no question limit so go nuts. Saskuretsu out


	4. OMG WHATS GOING ON

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N Now thats I have the story started I will be updating weely or sometimes 5 or 6 days so you can wait right...right. Anyways heres Chapter 4 **OMG What the Hell Is going on**

Hinata: Whoa look at the time it's 10:00AM. Saskuretsu what's the deal

Saskuretsu: -wakes up- Whoops seems I've overslept

Naruto: Why'd you wake him up

Hinata: I dunno

Sakura: Why Hinata, why!

Hinata: I'm sorry I upset everyone -sobs-

Naruto: Now look what you've done, Sakura, you made her cry

Sasuke: Like you didn't help

Naruto: Fuck you sasUKE

Sasuke: Yup thats me sasUKE

Orochimaru: My little bitch

Everyone: AAAHHHHHHH OROCHIMARU

Orochimaru: Well seeing as though I have _some_ fans

Sakura: Yeah some

Neji: Very few

Tenten: Yeah you're as lame as Bush's approval rating

Mini Lee 3: Haha political humor is dominant over all other forms

Sakura: That still scares me

Mini Lee 1: Malrlyo Desco metida?

Sakura: Say wha?

Kakashi: He said why do you find us freaky?

Everyone: YOU SPEAK ITALIAN

Kakashi: I took some classes

Sakura: I'm sure one of those was being a pervert

Zabuza?

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei reads a perverted book

Haku: Hmmmmmmmmmm I want peanuts

Lee's zombie: I have peanuts they're right here do you want 1 -points in between legs-

Sakura: Dude what the hell

Saskuretsu: Randomness is fun

Hinata: Hmmmmmm -Lee falls to pieces from Hinata's powers-

Sakura: Thank you god

Mini Lee 5: I wish I had a mommy

Sakura: Orochimaru's right there

Itachi: After effects of crack suck. I have this strange urge to eat Greg the Bunny

Sasuke: Thats quite disturbing

Kurenai: I think I'm going to go insane if I don't get outta here

Anko: We all are

Kakashi: We should get to the first question

Hinata: Should we yes, will we maybe later

Sakura: I have a stange urge to kick Itachi in the balls

Itachi: I'll fing rip you apart you Buddist whore

Anko: Thats the after effects of crack. 1 urges 2 aggression 3 stress 4 violence 5 murder

Zabuza: You know this how?

Anko: Orochimaru was on crack

Orochimaru: Still am

Sasuke: I used to smoke crack to calm my nerves when I was 10

Sakura: At least your mental age

Haku: I like bunnies and ponies

Sakura: Yes yes we know already

Hinata: Maybe we should get to the next question

Saskuretsu: In a sec

Hinata: But

Saskuretsu: I said no

Naruto: I wish I wouldn't signed up for this vacation

Hinata?

Saskuretsu: I put an ad in the newspaper for people to mail in why they should get a vacation and those who won I trapped here

Neji: I will never read the newspaper again

Saskuretsu: It was also a television ad and a radio ad

Neji: Ok I can stand never listening to radio but unfortunately my will isn't strong enouh to restrain from TV forever

Everyone: Same here

Sakura: I have a fanfiction acount you know

Everyone: You do?

Sakura: I'm...ok maybe I forgot my screen name but thats not important

Naruto: No I think you do know

Sakura: No I don't

Sasuke: Just tell us

Sakura: -mumbles- SlavetoSasuke

Everyone exept Orochimaru: GASP

Sakura: What it was back when I liked Sasuke and I haven't logged in in 2 years

Haku: But your 12

Sakura: So

Zabuza: You have to be thirteen to be a member of But Saskuretsu is 12

Saskuretsu: -spits out water he was drinking- -nervous voice- No I'm not -shifty eyes- I'm 15

Mini Lee 2: Es Dostres le Amigo

Sakura: Shut up spanish boy

Mini Lee 2: NNNNNOOOOOOOO -head explodes-

Saskuretsu: Anyways this question is from AB Firestar

_lol that was absolutely insane_

Sakura: You know what we know

Itachi: Sakura you're my bitch

Sakura: What!?

Sasuke: Haha Itachi thinks your his crack hoe

Sakura: Your Orochimaru's crack hoe

Orochimaru: Who told you I did crack

Hinata: Sasuke

Orochimaru: it's true I don't have parents thats why I'm so insane I need someone to hold me waaaaaahhhhhhhh -cries hysterically-

Hinata: Whats he doing?

Sasuke: He's havin' another episode

Kabuto: Yeah that explains it

Sasuke: Orochimaru is mine

Kabuto: In your dreams little boy

Orochimaru: I wanted to have a threesome but they hate each other

Sakura: I'm scared

Naruto: Of what?

Sakura: Your face and the fact that Mr. Michael Jackson's sister is here

Orochimaru: Actually I'm a shim

Everyone: Like we didn't see that one coming

Orochimaru: Thats what Sasuke said when I took his virginity

Saskuretsu: The gayness it burns -incenerates Orochimaru-

Everyone but Kabuto and Sasuke: Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyy

Kabuto and Sasuke: NOOOOOOOO

Saskuretsu: Temari I now pronounce you a lesbian with my powers to alter reality

Temari: But I'm str...hey Sakura whats up

Sakura: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Saskuretsu: Everyone shut up i'm reading a question this one is from A-Bomber

Itachi: I like asses especially Sakura's

_Sakura: Oh god_

_good and i have a dare make hinata make out with naruto for a long time like 5 minutes without fainting and if she does she has too have sex with naruto_

Hinata: Ok but I'm little nervous

Naruto: Its ok -Makes out with Hinata-

5 minutes later

Naruto: Do we have to have sex

Hinata: -thinks- I hope he says yes

Sakura: Eveyone cover your eyes

Sasuke: I'll be staring at Naruto so...no

Naruto: -takes pants off-

Saskuretsu: DO IT

**This part has been cut out because this story is rated T**

Sasuke: Damn Naruto you take viagra

Saskuretsu: This next one has been hand delivered by tebowave. You know what thats email address too...thats a stupid uncreative idea

Sakura: But your email address is Saskuretsu

Saskuretsu: I have 3 email addresses and I made that email address after I made this account

Tenten: Why?

Saskuretsu: I have one that I use to distract my family and 2 top secret ones and I like my name. i wuzz here's email address is Thats none of our business

Naruto: Let's spam email him

Sasuke: Nice idea I brought a laptop equipped with satellite internet

Sakura: Sasuke you're a f-tard. You can email the Hokage and she can get us out

Sasuke: I don't wanna go to jail

Naruto: You stupis panzy

Neji: Lets get to the question

_Itachi I dare to rape Sakura_

_Sakura I dare you to fight back but give up after an hour or 2_

_Sasuke you are gay emo f-tard_

_Neji Kiss Hinata_

_Hinata get naked for an hour_

Itachi: RRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH -jumps on top of Sakura-

**This part has been also cut out(people the story is rated T enough with the rape and sex reviews please)**

Sasuke: I'm not emo -sits and sulks in emo corner-

Neji: -kisses Hinata-

Hinata: -takes clothes off-

All Males in the room exept for Kabuto and Sasuke and Haku and Zabuza: Awesome

Sasuke and Kabuto and Haku and Zabuza: I'm gay

Itachi: Freakin' sweet

Hinata: -blushes a very deep red-

Saskuretsu: -stares blankly at Hinata's ass-

Sakura: Hey Saskurapeyu snpa out of it and get to the questions

Saskuretsu: Its Saskuretsu and ok. This one is from Mahou Inu Alex

Itachi: Thats a long name

_Hey Hinata I was wondering if you would like to wear these cat kitty ears. -hands over kitty ears- Please wear them._

And Sasuke quit being a gay emo asshole.

And Itachi. Can I join the Akatsuki?

Hinata: Great now I'm a naked Cat-girl its like a comicon

Sasuke: i'm not emo why are you people so mean to me -starts crying-

Hinata: Naruto-kun I hop you think any less of me because of this

Naruto: Well you do have to do it or else

Hinata: Yes but I don't like being naked in front of people it almost makes me cry

Saskuretsu: Yeah...uhhhhhh...k...lets get on with this

Itachi: You can join but only under these conditions 1 Worship the devil 2 wear a black robe thing with red clouds on it 3 sit around talkin' about plans to take over the world 4 gimme some pot

Sakura: The pots a requirement

Itachi: It is when I'm lettin' ya in

Saskuretsu: You know what Itachi's aggresion isn't funny so Itachi here's some crack

Itachi: WALLA WALLA WAAAAAAHHHH WEEEEEEEEEEEE OHHHO HOOOOOO BAELL REBABA

Everyone: ...

Naruto: WTF MAN

Haku: I blame tebowave

Everyone: Same here

Sakura: I find it weird that none of us have gone insane from lack of entertainment

Saskuretsu: Good my pizza is here

Everyone: WHAT YOU ORDERED PIZZA

Saskuretsu: -eats a piece of pizza- what I like Papa John's

Mini Lee 4: But we have no food. Please fans give us food

Naruto: -enjoys some of his ramen- mmmmm Ramenalicious

Neji: You know Hinata he said no clothes on maybe you put on something that is not technically clothes

Hinata: Arigato Nee-san

Neji: I'm your cousin

Hinata: Whatever -wears a shirt and pants made of burlap that suddenly appear-

Naruto: You saved Hinata alot of embarrasment

Neji: I owe her

Naruto: Why?

Neji: Remember when she said I tried to rape her in my sleep. Well she said I owe her because she didn't tell her dad and I guess it came in handy for her and me

Naruto: You wouldn't have told her would have you?

Neji: And end my ecstasy...HELL NO

Naruto: You're nasty

Neji: What I can't help it if my cousin is hot

Naruto: Yeah whatever

Saskuretsu: Next question is from million bullets. i once got stabbed by a million serenges but shot a million times

_Lesbian Pornagraphy for everyone!_

Anko:  
Anko have sex with Kurenai.

Have you raped anyone before?

Itachi:  
Start popping pills.

all the mini-Lee's:  
rape Sakura.

Sasuke:  
How high of a cliff would you jump off before you die?

Neji:  
Have you "looked" at Naruto with your byakugan activated?

Great chapter. update.

Anko: Noooooooooooo...I guess I have to

Kurenai: NOOOOOOOOO

Anko: How do you think I feel but to answer your question. I have never raped anyone

Kakashi: Have you been raped before

Anko: Nope

Sakura: Finally

Itachi: -finds a bottle of viagra pills and eats the whole thing including the bottle-

-everyone stares at Itachi with the WTF look-

Mini Lee's: Noooooo -head explode-

Sakura: Thats a major convience

Sasuke: I would jump off a 3 thoudand foot cliff

Neji: Yeah when I fought Naruto in the chuunin exams so I could seal his chakra points gosh what you accusing me of being gay?

Naruto: Neji you wanna plow your cousin we know you're not gay

Hinata: What do you mean by plow

Neji: Nothing -shifty eyes-

Sasuke: He wants to f!!! you into next year

Hinata: HE DOES

Neji: Of course...not -thinks- of course I do

Naruto: You don't? Don't lie

Neji: I don't believe in incest plus I got Tenten

Sakura: Hey Itachi whats thats giant lump in your pants its enormous

Itachi: Oh it said viagra

Everyone: ...

Sasuke: Its bigger than Orochimaru's

Neji: Sasuke what turned you gay. You can't revive a clan if you're gay

Sasuke: There is still Itachi

Itachi: What I got no kids I'm 17

Sasuke: Well i'm gay. One of us has to have a kid

Itachi: I will once I dominate the world

Naruto: Hahaha the Uchiha's are gone for sure

Itachi: Hey! I'm going to rule at least Japan!

Naruto: Not with me Hokage

Sakura: You Hokage. You gotta a better chance getting Sasuke to turn bi

Sasuke: I might already be bi

-everyone starts laughing-

Haku: You're in denial

Sasuke: F!!! you all

Itachi: Hey gay lad go f!!! a tree

Sasuke: Screw you Gaychi

Naruto: That was lame

Neji: Not as lame as him I don't think anything is

Sasuke: Shut up -cries in emo corner-

Sakura: I can't believe i used to like that loser and I can't believe many girls still like him

Itachi: I have fan-girls they are scary

Sakura: That was random

Itachi: Like my firetruck

-everyone stares at Itachi-

Tenten: -picks up label of the pills- It says anti-depressants and Viagra

Saskuretsu: That is weird

Kakashi: Tell me about it

Saskuretsu: No...anyway the next question is from hannibal221

_well hinata since you didn't like the idea of naruto forcing himself on you i dare you to rape him_

naruto i dare you to make out with hinata then propose to her and marry her

hinata i dare you to except his proposal

sauske i really hate you

sakura your a whiney bitch

itachi your cool as hell

neji your dare is to go a feel up tenten

tenten yours is to let him

'Saskuretsu: No marrying

Hinata and Naruto: We're only 12 ya know

Naruto: -makes out with Hinata-

Sasuke: Why does everyone hate me -continues crying in emo corner-

Sakura: How am I a whiney bitch

Saskuretsu: Yeah I know she's cool in the shippuden

Sakura: Yeah what he said

Sakura: Besides most people only insult me because of their own insecurities

Saskuretsu: You're not allowed to insult the readers. BAD SAKURA -shocks Sakura with a taser gun-

Sakura: -electricuted- ow damn it

Naruto: Hahaha Sskuretsu made you his bitch

Sakura: At least I'm not like Sasuke or Kabuto. I don't wanna be Michael Jackson's slave

Sasuke and Kabuto: Michael Jackson's brother

Sakura: Whatever

Neji: I love you hannibal221 -feels up Tenten-

Tenten: Must resist nautral relex to hit Neji in the head

Neji: I really do love you hannibal221 for making this possible. -whispers- now let me rape her

Temari: I'm surprised noone has asked about sandcest

Gaara: I'm suprised I'm getting no lines

Temari: Yeah and also you're getting no questions. You'd figure with the fan girls you'd have more

Gaara: No not the fan-girls they made me wear a panda suit and took turns raping me

Temari: ...they did...creepy

Saskuretsu: Everyone shut up we have a question from Seret

_I have some more questions but I gotta say this is too funny_

Sasuke: Did you go to Orochimaru for power or sex

Sakura: Why is your hair pink

Neji: I dare you to cum on Hinata's naked body

Naruto: I dare you to join Neji

Hinata: I dare you to enjoy it. Question. Is your sister annoying

Sasuke: Both

Naruto: You are disgusting

Sasuke: What?

Naruto: Dude he's like 50

Sasuke: Yeah and

Sakura: My hair is nautral

Neji: Hinata it seems like you have to take the burlap off so Naruto and i can cum on you

Hinata: DAMN YOU SERET I'LL SEND MY FATHER TO KILL YOU

Hinata: Anyways yes my sister is quite annoying. She steals my stuff and blames it on Neji

Neji: Once Hanabi stole her panties and framed me. Hiashi almost killed me

Hinata: I tried to help you

Neji: I know

**This part has been cut out because again this story is rated T you hear me T T T**

Saskuretsu: Ok its been an hour Hinata you can put your clothes back on and hears a shower so you can wash off

Naruto: -peaks into shower while Hinata's in it-

Hinata: -shuts shower curtain-

Naruto: DAMN IT

Sakura: Pervert

Naruto: I'm ok with that

Sakura: Mini-Jiraiya

Naruto: You crossed the line there

Saskuretsu: Shut up the next question is from my very very good friend i wuzz here

_sakura: will you sleep with me.i have blond hair, im 5 foot 7 smexy to the max.im not emo . not fat, and not gay_

Naruto: Why do you wear an orange jumpsuit your a ninja you dumb faggot

Itachi: OMG you are awesome to the friken exetreme. I wanted to know are you popping pills cause you got red eyes

Sakura: I'll most definately think about it but it's a probable yes

Naruto: Try conceited to the max

Saskuretsu: I forgot the second part of the letter

_Naruto if you make any stupid comments I'll kill you with your Hokage's skull_

Naruto: Aw crap

Naruto: I wear an orange jumpsuit cause it's my thing

Itachi: I am awesome because my cat ate the moon in a full potatoe

Sakura: We've lost Itachi again and the answer to that last one is obvious

Saskuretsu: Ok thats it

Hinata: Whats it

Saskuretsu: The end of the chapter

Hinata: Finally

Saskuretsu: Sleeping gas -throws sleeping gas in-

-everyone falls asleep-

Saskuretsu: So ends another segment of Ask Hinata

E/A/N Well thats chapter 4 and I gonna start updating weekly. Wow this was one long chapter


	5. That Didn't Count and Ozzy Osbourne

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N Hello and welcome to Ask...whats her name...who could forget the great Hinata. Wow that sentence was completely pointless. But this sentence stating the pointless of the previous sentence is more pointless so let's move on. Chapter 5 **I LIKE POPPING PILLS BITCHES(ACTUALLY MADE THATA LAST PART UP)**

Saskuretsu: Hello and welcome to ASK HINATA. In this corner the host Hinata and in the other corner a really annoying fan letter

Everyone: zzzzzzzzzzz

3 hours later

Saskuretsu: Starts blasting Nine Inch Nails music

Naruto: -wakes up- What the hell is that...crap

Saskuretsu: It's NIN and it's not crap

Neji: Yeah NIN rock.

Saskuretsu: Oh yeah whats your favorite song by them

Neji: Hand that Feeds duh

Hinata: My ears BURN. THEY BURN I TELL YOU! BUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNN

Everyone but Neji and Saskuretsu: AHHHHHHH THE MUSIC SUX

Neji: Hey guess what

Naruto: What

Neji: F!!! you

Sasuke: That was uncalled for

Saskuretsu:Fine i'll change it -blasts 3 Days Grace- I wish you guys were Gone Forever but what fun would that be

Neji: Its still rock I guess

Saskuretsu: You guess? Bitch this is the shit right here

Hinata: Can we continue with a leginimate conversation

Neji: I bet you Lee would say "Hahaha Hinata say funny word that Lee no comprende'

Sakura: Whats your point

Neji: I miss Lee's stupidity. It gave something other than all of you guys to feel supieor to

Hinata: First question yes?

Saskuretsu: Ok, this one is from Mahou Inu Alex

_Hinata here. -hands over a dog suit- Just in case you don't want to wonder around naked._

Sasuke I dare you to hit yourself in the face with a frying pan till your head explodes you whiny emo bitch.

Itachi I just mailed you some pot, a way to take over the world. How about kidnapping world leaders. Or since I'm going to worship the devil how about we try to summon demons and send them to kill everyone. As for the robe with red clouds I'm working on that. Do you like cocaine or acid too pothead?

OH YEAH! One more thing Itachi. If you could choose to sleep with any naruto girl, who would it be?

Naruto why are you addicted to ramen? Did someone drug your ramen or do you do that?

Neji. DON'T FIGHT HINATA BY GROPING HER YOU INCEST LOVING BASTARD!

Oh. Saskuretsu, can you blow up Ino please.

And sasgay quit being a whiny emo pussy and let Naruto stay with Hinata.

And one more thing Saskuretsu. Your funny as hell. BYE BYE WOOF!

PS this message will self destruct in five seconds.

Saskuretsu: I'll be sure to blow up Ino soon

Hinata: This ain't funny -puts on dog suit-

Saskuretsu: It's a chihuahua suit hahahahahaha...you're like my little chihuahua

Sasuke: Yay pain to myself

Itachi: You know people say that pills are just stupid. You know what I tell them. I telled em' to f!!! off because my pills keep me stress free like Michael Moore when he takes his ecstasy pills

Naruto: Yeah Sasuke is completely emo

Sasuke: F!!! you at least my name isn't a Japanese food

Naruto: Oh toushe'

Itachi: When does my mail take the pot so I can smoke so paper

Saskuretsu: I think he's too high to read

Itachi: I like summoning the devils they taste like my mom's smoked meat log. I do cocaine remember I smoked 5 kilos. The robe also has to be silk so I can scrape vmy nails on it to make a funny sound. I would sleep with Temari

Temari: Why...?

Itachi: She's spunky

Naruto: I'm addicted to ramen because Ichiraku Ramen used to put cocaine in my ramen so...yeah

Neji: My cousin's hot. What can I say. Like I always say if she's hot why not

Saskuretsu: Right on -high fives Neji-I may not support incest but that is totally my philosophy too

Sasuke: I am not emo where are getting these theories from. Naruto can't be with Hinata, he is gay

Naruto: Wow I wonder wait what I am straight

Sasuke: Why do you have play-girl magazines

Naruto: Wrong it's play-boy not play-girl. I don't swing that way besides Hinata'a my bitch

Sakura: I should kill you right here and now seeing as though i'm still tired because it's 5:00AM

Hinata: i find the thought of being Naruto's bitch not that bad exept for the abuse verbally and physically

Naruto: I wouldn't abuse you

Hinata: I was talking about from Neji

Neji: Bullshit i have never touched you although i would lke to touch in a certain place that...well you know but i'd much rather touch Tenten there

Tenten: Goodboy now beg

Hinata: I'm the one in the dog friken dog suit

Gaara: This is worse than the time I went on the Tonight show with David Letterman oh yeah and Itachi back off my sister

Itachi: You savin' her for yourself or somethin'

Gaara and Temari: -pukes- That is a disgusting idea

Saskuretsu: Next Question is from A-Bomber

_hinata i dare u too cum on naruto and naruto swallow the cum and great story very funny_

Naruto: ok ew

Hinata: That seems a little perverted

Neji: I wanna rape Tenten. Masturbation doesn't help anymore I'm bout to go insane

Tenten: You said that aloud

Neji: I know. Its more fun if you have a warning

Tenten: -shivers-

Saskuretsu: You know what

Sakura: What

Saskuretsu: I am declaring today April 24 Ozzy Osbourne

Hinata: Why?

Saskuretsu: Becasue I'm running off the rails on the crazy train

Ozzy: Yeah man rock on the white stuff is good

Everyone but Neji: I'm scared

Neji: Cool

Naruto: Group huddle

-Everyone gets in the huddle exept Gaara-

Sakura: Why are you calling a huddle

Naruto: To do this -yells- anyone who didn't hear what I just said has to bite the head off a live bat like Ozzy did in that concert

Gaara: Noooooooooo you jerk

Saskuretsu: Nice. You have to do it Gaara

Gaara: But...alright

Saskuretsu: -hands him a live bat

-Bat bites Gaara-

Gaara: Ow! Anyways -chomps off the bats head-

Naruto: Heheh

Gaara: You know what Naruto I'm gonna make some random person rape you

Naruto: Oh I'm so scared

Gaara: You will be

Itachi: Youba Daaka Touchi

Ozzy: Woonka duschi booga

Itachi: Sooichi retaru

Naruto: What are they saying

Sasuke: They are speaking the language of the drug-attic

Sakura: How do you know

Sasuke: Itachi taught me 10 minutes ago

Neji: Why?

Sasuke: Because he felt like it and he tied me up in a chair

Ozzy: Toola Balli Mumbs

Itachi: Teeg Wen BOOBS

Sasuke: hahahaha

Sakura: Whats so funny

Sasuke: Ozzy asked what is your favorite book and Itachi said the study of BOOBS

Tenten: Perverted jack-off

Itachi: Uhfalla

Tenten: I'd punch you if I knew what you said

Sasuke: He said I know

Tenten: -punches Itachi-

Ozzy: Rock and Roll

Sakura: Where do you come up with this stuff Saskuretsu. You must be insane

Saskuretsu: NO I'm just a _Dreamer_

Neji: Enough with the puns

(Just to let you know Dreamer and Crazy Train are 2 of Ozzy Osbournes songs)

Hinata: Next question please

Saskuretsu: Oh yeah this one is from million bullets. Sorry no joke this time

_I laughed a lot in chapter 4._

give everybody tacos.

I dare Naruto to put pictures of naked women on the wall and make all the gay guys stare at them for hours.

I dare Naruto to throw 10 daggers at Kabuto blind folded, while Kabuto is tied up on the wall. (you can decide if the daggers hit)

Anko let me grab your boob.

Temari:  
Would you kiss Naruto?

I dare you to kiss Naruto even if you don't want to.

Gaara:  
I dare you to tie up Sasuke in front of the TV so he can watch lesbian porn.

Which one of the girls would you kiss?

Naruto: Ok -staples his stash of porn on the wall- Sasuke, Zabuza, Haku, and Itachi

Itachi: Sweet

Naruto: Hahaha this is gonna be fun

Sasuke: -Blind folds Naruto- Time to get rid of the competion

Sakura: -thinks- Good noone noticed the tacos. Time to eat em' -eats a taco- Mmm

Naruto: -Throws first 3 daggers but they hit Sasuke in the eye, the other eye, and forehead- I heard a scream of agony was it Kabuto

Kabuto: No I'm good

Naruto: Grrr -throws 3 more daggers and 1 hits Kabuto in the nuts- I heard another one

Kabuto: You neutered me

Sasuke: -gurgles blood and dies-

Sakura: Cool

Naruto: -throws next 3 daggers that hit Kabuto in his stomach, chest, and brain- This time I have to had hit em'

Kabuto: Help me...uhhh...-dies-

Sakura: Great now we have 3 rotting corpses

Naruto: So at least we killed the annoying people

Sasuke Zombie: I'm alive

Everyone: AAAAAHHHHH ZOMBIE

Naruto: Die Zombie -throws last dagger at Sasuke and it hits and it knocks his head off his shoulders-

Anko: No

Sakura: You kinda have to

Anko: Fine -lets million bullets grab her boob-

Temari: Hell no! Naruto is probably gay anyway

Naruto: Am not

Temari: No don't make me

Gaara: Haha

Temari: At least I didn't have to eat the head off a friken bat

Gaara: Screw you

Naruto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Gaara will kill me

Gaara: Damn right

Temari: -Puts on blindfold and kisses Naruto-

Naruto: -pukes-

Sakura: Hey wheres Sasuke

Sasuke: -face appears on screen because Saskuretsu left-

Sasuke: I'm in control

Sakura: You supposed to be dead

Sasuke: Not anymore. You should see Saskuretsu's computer. He has 14 terrabytes of woman on woman porn

Kurenai: Pervert

Sasuke: I have a confession

Naruto: If you're gonna you're gay we know

Sasuke: I am not gay

Everyone: GASP

Sakura: Don't lie

Sasuke: Nah I'm being completely serious in fact I'm attracted to Sakura

Sakura: Why'd you go to Orochimaru then

Sasuke: So I could kill him don't you read the manga and Kishimoto is probably against homosexuality so i really can't be gay

Sakura: What about Haku and Zabuza

Sasuke: Master/Apprentice close relationship. i'm sure they didn't actually do it. I only screwed Orochimaru so he would believe I was gay

Haku: Yeah Saskuretsu made us say it

Hinata: Why

Sasuke: To be funny of course. It says in his plans for future document that he will make Sakura and Hinata have dirty sex

Saskuretsu: That was a nice walk...Sasuke!!! You're alive!?...weird...uhhhh...go back in the room please

Sasuke: Hell no

Saskuretsu: Suit yourself...stay in here -puts on gas mask and realeases deadly chloride gas- You can die. You're disposable

Sasuke: -Runs into room- You guys know we're not in the Konoha

Sakura: Thats not possible he couldn't give us a powerful enough drug to make us sleep that long...could he

Saskuretsu: I also raped Sakura's unconscience body. We're in America. New Orleans, Louisiana

Sakura: I think I'm gonna commit suicide

Sasuke: Can you become pregnant

Sakura: Its a possibility although he could be just joking

Saskuretsu: -thinks- haha I was joking now she'll be paranoid for a while

Neji: You know we could just use the window...its only a 1 story house

Hinata: I am truely surprised no one noticed that

Sakura: -tries to jump through window but right before she contacts the glass a metal plate covers the window- -hits metal plate- OOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasuke: Hahahahaha I saw that coming

Itachi: Something popped insie of brain. I like popping pills. The pills bottles go pop pop popity pop pop wooooohhh

A Random Chihuahua: Woof

Naruto: Who's chihuahua is that

Saskuretsu: Oh crap she went in there come here girl

Chihuahua: Woof woof bark roof elephant

Neji: Did that dog just say elephant

Chihuahua: Go to hell

Hinata: That dog is talking...aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!

Chihuahua: Let me out you retarded douchebags

-door opens and the dog leaves-

Temari: That was scary

Sasuke: I know there is a flaw in the design of this prison

Naruto: Go to hell gay-boy

Sasuke: I'm not gay damn it

Jabba the Hut: Tooka nounm ba dookie tity

Ozzy: Lets raise some Hell

Neji: Stop making puns damn it

Ozzy: Go to hell you AIDS infested whore

Neji: I'm not a whore in fact I'm a virgin

Tenten: eh what about the time...

Neji: That didn't count

Lee's Zombie: They did something very unyouthful

Everyone: ZOMBIE!!!

Naruto: Hmmmmm -pulls dagger out of Kabuto and stabbed Lee repeatedly until Lee puked out his microscopic brain and died-

Saskuretsu: I have an idea -starts raining blood in the room-

Everyone: EEEWWWWWW

Sakura: Nasty luckily I'm wearing a red shirt so it won't show

Neji: Luckily I'm wearing brown pants

Sasuke: -shivers- Thats nasty

Neji: RAAAAAAAHHHHHHH shut up AHHHHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH -head explodes-

Hinata: Well at least I don't have to listen to him complain about the head family at the dinner table

Neji: I'm alive

Naruto: Then who's that guy -points at headless body-

Neji: It's the thing I use to distract everyone while I run out the house

Saskuretsu: Next question is from ItachiUchiha17

_Awesome chapter!! What did Sakura and Sasgay do to me but be horrible to poor Naruto and because you guys were so mean to Naruto, he gets a year's worth of ramen this time. Neji are you not familar with the term manwhore? And trust me not all of them are gay. Itachi the only reason I don't kidnap you is because that last time I tried to kidnap someone (it was Sai if you know who that is) it didn't go so well. If I did kidnap you I wouldn't do anything like that. Its against the law to so mean to you. Anyway it was great seeing you get high. It was hilarious too. That's all for now._

Naruto: Friggin' sweet

Sakura: Naruto go kill yourself

Naruto: What if I cut with myself will you stop insulting me?

Sakura: Sure

-Naruto cuts his arm-

Neji: No I'm not familar with the term but I'm not a whore

Itachi: Well since you won't kidnap me and glomp me...and rape me..I...might...go out with you

Neji: Dude he's not high anymore

Naruto: Thats good

Saskuretsu: I killed 17 people yesterday

Sasuke: why?

Saskuretsu: I didn't have any money to buy some gum

Saskuretsu: The next question is from lavender eyed girl. Lavender is my favorite type soda

_heh contains spoilers  
itachi: why the f you didnt kill sasuke yet?  
sasuke: i dare u 2 kiss a girl )  
sakura: what do u do 2 ppl that defy u?  
naruto: oro is right there y dont u kill him?  
kakashi: what would u say 2 obito i f u could c him again?  
kurenai: ur knocked up w/ dead asumas baby, what will u do next? D  
hinata: y dun u just make ur own room of 1/2 naked naruto clones 2 fan u?  
shino: omg ur awsome, i dare u 2 take off ur coat & shades  
kiba: y u gay w/ ur dog?  
gaara: i dare u 2 sleep )_

Itachi: Thanx for reminding me

Sasuke: Aw damn it to hell

Saskuretsu: Sorry no killing Sasuke or any living person in this room

Sasuke: Ok -kisses Sakura-

Sakura: I rip their soul out, strip them of all intelligence, and send them to the bowls of hell -red lightning crashes in background-

Hinata: Thats scary

Naruto: Saskuretsu beat me to it

Kakashi: Uhhhhhhhhh...whats up...how's the afterlife

Kurenai: Is that it...wait Asuma's dead oh yeah. Well I guess since I'm ninja and all you know I have a steady income

Naruto: Why would Hinata want 1/2 naked clones of me!?

Shino: Your the most oblivious moronic bastard I have ever met

Shino: -takes off shades to show no eyes and takes off coat to show a naked torso-

Kiba: You don't wear a shirt

Neji: When did you 2 get here

Kiba: Hey I'm not gay with Akamaru.

Hinata: What about the time...

Kiba: That didn't count

Hinata: You know guys there is a shower in the middle of the room

Kakashi: Where are going with this

Hinata: Well the water pipes should be easier to dig up then regular ground because there no cement there

Gaara: -falls asleep and releases Shukaku-

Saskuretsu: Damn it all

Gaara: -wakes up-

Saskuretsu: Next question is from the same person

_thought of more  
temari:is ur fan compinsating 4 sumting?  
kankuro: whats w/ the outfit? its the f'ing dessert!  
anko: can u stub a vagina?  
gai:i dare u 2 wear a dress  
min lees: dare u 2 go on jepordy  
neji: how can u live when u know ur pokes R lethal?  
tenten: wtf is ur last name?  
dei: heh i 1st thought u were a girl  
oro:i dare u to pray to a god of hinas choosing  
tsunade: u got implants?  
kyubi: yodame pwned ur ass, what would u do if u got free?  
haku:whered u get ur wisdom  
zabu:tell me how u got those teeth_

Temari: What do you mean

Gaara: He's asking if you use it as a dildo

Temari: No!!!!

Gaara: But what about the time..

Temari: That didn't count

Gaara: Kankuro wears the outfit because he thinks he's a cat

Anko: I really don't (I don't knoe either)

Kakashi: Gai isn't here

Mini Lee's: -suddenly come back to life- Ok

Neji: Simple I don't poke people

Tenten: soon Hyuga

Hinata: Tenten Hyuga...ok with me...I guess

Deidara: I'm not a girl you intolerant bastard

Hinata: Orochimaru's dead remember Saskuretsu threw him in a furnace or something

Saskuretsu: Damn straight

Naruto: No Tsunade just uses that jutsu

Kyuubi: Shut up...I would reak havic upon this shithole you inferior lifeforms call the earth

Haku: I got my wisdom from Zabuza-san

Zabuza: I used Haku's nail filer

Saskuretsu: The next question is from hannibal221

_love this story_

why can't they get married? i mean the timeline in it is kinda like feudal era mixed with modern but it the feudal when there where clans and such like this arranged marrages,and young marrages weren't uncommon. Your ninja you could die on you next mission and never get a chance to marry and have a family it makes no sense to talk about how your only 12 as if it's excuse.

alright dares and questions time

naruto your dare is to give hinata your complete and undevided attention for the entire chapter, nothing else matters except what she says (im going to get these 2 together no matter what)

hinata i dare you to confront naruto and tell him your inlove with him and make sure he knows it and understands. No accidently saying it to low so he can't hear or anything make sure he hears and understands it.and not faint

neji i dare you to rape tenten in every way shape and form(dude im a guy and not gay so don't do around saying you love me anymore please)

tenten again your dare is to do nothing to stop him(i know you like it! so dont complain, well you can conplan when he has anal with you but thats it)

sauske your dare is to castrate yourself(last thing this word needs is more mini eoms running around, and im gonna make fun of you and make you sad till you pretty much decide to kill yoursel)STOP CRYING YOU FUCKING PANSY ALL YOU DO IS CRY AND MOAN ABOUT HOW BAD YOU LIFE IS AND HOW YOU HAVE TO KILL YOUR BROTHER NEW FLASH YOU'LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO KILL ITACHI CAUSE YOUR A WHINEY LITTLE BITCH LIKE SAKURA YOU TALKED ABOUT HOW ANNOYING SHE WAS BUT YOUR MORE ANNOYING THEN HER ANYDAY!

kabuto your dare is to rape sauske and make him cry like alittle bitch

sakura your dare is to convince naruto and hinata into having a 3some with you

garra i don't have a dare for you just a question is there any truth behind the 'sandcet' humers?

temari your dare is to beat the hell out of sauske

itachi question do you really like pocky as much as ive heard? ive heard your just as addicted to it as naruto is to ramen

hand hinata a grocery bag full of food both junk food and healthy foods

hinata get this cause she's cute

Saskuretsu: Because I said so

Naruto: Sits next to Hinata and stares at her

Hinata: Do I have to...sigh...Naruto I love you, i want to be with you for the rest of our lives and beyond

Naruto: I feel the same

Hinata: Wow that uh...too easy

Neji: Sweet -pulls Tenten into closet and "some" sounds come out of the closet

Sasuke: Dude take a chill pill Itachi seems to enjoy them

Sakura: Castrate yourself now

-Sasuke takes one of the daggers out of Kabuto and cuts his nuts off-

Sasuke: Haha Kabuto's dead he can't rape me

Sakura: No

Saskuretsu: You kinda have to

Sakura: Fine! Naruto have sex with me and Hinata or I'll mutilate you

-Sakura, Naruto, and Hinata walk into the shower and disturbing noises came out of it-

Itachi: Oh yeah I love pocky...pocky pocky pocky

Hinata: Yay food

Naruto: This is the happiest day of my life

Saskuretsu: Next question is from Seret

Your humor never stops amazing me

_Neji: I dare you to rape Hinata. Do you support incest?_

Naruto: I dare you to hot yourself with a boat paddle. Why do use a frog it doesn't suit your personality?

Sakura: Why do so many people hate you, you're cool

Kabuto: I dare you to blow your head off with a shotgun

Sasuke: Chop your balls off oh wait you ain't got none. Seriously.

Gaara: How can you not sleep it's weird

Temari: Cool you're a lesbian I dare you f! Sakura

Hinata: Would you screw your sister in front of a camera if someone force you to like...me for example

Neji: I dare you to rape Hinata again after you're done

Haku: I thought you died

Zabuza: Give me your sword

Neji: Ok Hinata get over here. Yes, well kinda...depends

Naruto: What a boat paddle...we don't have any so ha

-paddle appears-

Naruto: Damn it -hits self repeatedly- i use a frog because I want to

Sakura: I am cool aren't I. People hate me becasue they're intolerant faggots/Lesbians

Saskuretsu: Sorry Kabuto's dead

Sasuke: I already did

Gaara: I can't sleep because if i sleep I will kill my village

Temari: I'm not a lesbian anymore

Hinata: I guess if I were forced I would have to

Neji: Yes

Haku: Well yeah but I'm alive now so thats what counts

Zabuza: Never

Saskuretsu: Next is from Chidori vs. Rasengan

_nok..._

now why did i spend 5 minutes reading this again?

oh yea, it's pretty amusing... (if you can stand all the OoCness that is)

constructive criticism: improve spelling, grammar and use of japanese honorifics. and also try to make the characters less OoC as possible in the next chapter. and also, try to minimize your abusing of sasuke and itach about their gay/incestual tendencies... 

that's pretty much it for now...

finally, my question/dare/request

Shikamaru: I dare you to have sex with Temari in front of Gaara!

Chouji: Where do you get all those chips from?

Ino: Now that we all know Sasuke is gay, are you going for Sai?

Neji: Had you ever thought about going to the woods with Tenten to "train," then come back the next morning?

Tenten: Why did you go "training" with Neji in the woods only to come back the next morning?

Lee: What will you do if you caught your team mates having sex in front of you?

Kiba: Do you like... dogs? As in, you know, check out on them?

Shino: Hmm... nothing much to ask you... AHAH!  
Do you happen to set your bugs in hot springs to spy on women bathing?

Hinata: Please try to act less OoC as possible, and then lure naruto into a room with a bowl of ramen spiked with the most powerful knockout drug known to man, and then have your way with him! hands over bowl of miso ramen spiked with 60percent alcohol, and the rest anaesthetic

Sasuke: since we don't know whether Oreo is in your body, or you still have it(referring to manga chapter 345), can you speak a word and let us tell which one are you?

Sakura: Are you going to remain single until you're about as old as Tsunade, and then make yourself look younger with a genjutsu, like Tsunade?

Naruto: Since Hinata has admitted her love for you, I dare you to make out with her until the end of the chapter after you have read this sentence up to the full stop.

Kankuro: Do you ever... you know... with your puppets?

Temari: What will you do if you catch Gaara watching pr0n?

Gaara: What will you do if you woke up one morning... and your freakin gourd is missing?!

Gai: I dare you to shave your eyebrows and get a new hairstyle! Oh, and get a new sense of fashion too...

Asuma: oh wait... you're dead...

Kurenai: now that you're pregnant, how is there going to be a team 8 arc?!

Kakashi: If all the icha icha books are burnt in front of your eyes, what will you do?

Tsunade: I dare you to play strip poker with Jiraiya!

Jiraiya: I want the latest copy of Icha Icha Tactics right now! Or else I would show the others a photo of Oreo molesting you when you were 13!

Orochimaru: Now that people gave you the nickname "Oreo", did you know that you ruined my favourite cookie for me?

Kabuto: Why are you working for Orochimaru anyways? Is it to experiment with dead bodies? and call it "research for orochimaru-sama?"

Anko: Are you really a nympho?!

Phew that was long wipes sweat from forehead

be sure to improve and answer in a non-halfassed way Ok? 

Saskuretsu: You said a mouthful oh and team 8 isn't here

Neji: I always think about in fact I'm thinking about it right now

Tenten: I told you it didn't count

Lee: -rises from the dead- I would tell Gai sensei and he would handle them properly -dies agian-

Kiba: No...-shifty eyes-

Shino: But what about when..

Kiba: That didn't count

Shino: No...

Kurenai: But what about when...

Shino: That didn't count

Hinata: I don't want rape Naruto. It would be mean and thats OoC

Sasuke: Ok the word is Simple Plan

Sakura: Thats emo Sasuke. Well I model after Tsunade and want to be strong like her but trust me I don't think I'll be single

Naruto: why not -makes out with Hinata-

Temari: I saw him f!!!ing his puppets before

Gaara: Me too

Temari: I would take his teddy bear, Mr. Snwuggles, and burn him

Gaara: I would blame Temari and threaten her

Temari: -mumbles- bastard

Gai: Noooooooooooooooooo

Kakashi: Shut up and do it

Gai: -shaves eyebrows and dresses in a crow suit and starts squaking- This is my new fashion squak squak

Kurenai: There isn't gonna be one. Whats the big deal anyway I can still teach

Kakashi: I will rip that persons spine out and hang them with it

Saskuretsu: Tsunade and Jiraiya aren't here neither is Gai -Gai disappears-

Sasuke: Orochimaru would probably say Shut the hell up infadel also Kabuto would say maybe

Anko: I don't know actually

Saskuretsu: Sleepy time -throws sleeping gas into room-

E/A/N So soorry for the long wait. I'm so sorry i made an extra long chapter for your enjoyment(31 KB. The last chapter was 20). So very for the wait. Hop it was worth it. I appreciate the crtique it helps me to become a more adept writer. Goodbye. Love you all not in a gay way if your dude


	6. A Quick Chapter

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N I have 2 reasons for the wait: 1)My computer caught the blue screen of death 2)I didn't feel like typing because I got really sick. Now for chapter 6. SORRY...wait I never apoligize screw you all!!!

Saskuretsu: Wake up fag bags

Hinata: That was rude of you

Everyone:-in monotone, emotionless tone- No one upsets master Hinata

Saskuretsu: Hinata I'd appreciate it if you didn't mind control everyone again

Sasuke: No one mind controls me!

Sakura: Exept for maybe gay hookers

Sasuke: -glares- At least I don't like Yaoi

Everyone: GASP

Hinata: You like Yaoi Sakura-san

Sakura: No -thinks- yes

Inner Sakura: GO NARUSASU

Saskuretsu: AHHHHHHHH Sakura is a fangirl -thinks- haha that should freak Itachi out

Itachi: No...no...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more roping and raping for me you evil glomping fangirls blahhhhh ahhh gleepufdes

Saskuretsu: -reads news on Starcraft OMG STARCRAFT 2 IS COMING OUT in a year -runs out of house-

Sasuke: heh -goes in secret entrance into Saskuretsu's room-

-Sasuke's face appears on screen-

Sasuke: I'm in control again biatches

Sakura: Oh damn

Ino: Where am I

Everyone: NOOOOO ITS INO

Naruto: The horror

Sakura: The audacity of you to come in here

Ino: Hey I just appeared

Gaara: She's too ugly...must make...her..expl..ode

Everyone: Hooray

Gaara: Die whore...blond whore -sand coffins her dumb ass-

Lee: -Zombie roar-

Temari: Holy Shit

Kakashi: This is ironic

Anko: How?

Kakashi: I don't know I like the word ironic

Anko: Oh thats strange

Hinata: Ok next letter is from A-Bomber

_Yes good. now for the dares. sasuke I hated you when you left Konoha. I know ur not emo cuz u dont act emo. now i dare sasuke too kick Itachi's ass. and Neji i dare you to NEVER touch Hinata EVER again in any way, and Naruto marry Hinata and stay with her for the rest of ur life. that should make this NaruHina._

Itachi: I think you meant try to kick my ass because he's doomed to fail

Sasuke: I beg to differ. I got the power when I'm behind this seat

Sakura: I suddenly miss Saskuretsu controlling us

Itachi: Shut up fangirl

Sakura: I am not -thinks- KakaIru forever

Inner Sakura: We have a problem with Yaoi don't we

Sakura: Yeah but still GaaKank

Naruto: You said that aloud

Sakura: Oh...shit!

Gaara: my ears, eyes,brain, and tongue is scarred forever

Kankuro: What he said

Neji: But...ok

Naruto: Never shall I marry anyone

Hinata: -thinks- Crap Saskuretsu's not here to back me up

Sasuke: Ok next question

Naruto: Stop rushing things

Sasuke: Ok ok ok god

Tenten: How come I never get any lines

Neji: Don't ask me ask the writer who is currently Sasuke...crap!

Sasuke: NEXT QUESTION is from Itachi Uchiha17. Hey its the Itachi fangirl that hates Sakura

Sakura: Why do i have a bad feeling sbout this

_Glad you liked the ramen Naruto. Sakura I dare you to jump of a cliff and disappear for a while. You get on my bug the hell out of me and I just need you to shut the hell up for a while. Hinata if Sakura comes back or can before my dare, I dare your to use your gentle fist and bitch slap the crap out of her. Itachi I'm glad to see you getting over your fear of fangirls. Anywayz um Neji what's up with the incest thing and telling the world that you want to rape Tenten? That's kinda icky if not too much information and come on why aren't you a whore?. Crazy chapter but I can't wait till the next one._

Naruto: -gulps down another bowl- I am too

Sakura: Crap! How come people hate me so much and Saskuretsu's not here to back me up

Sasuke: Why would he

Sakura: Well I looked at his profile and I'm his favorite character

Hinata: But I wouldn't want to slap my fiend Sakura, but I suppose I have to if I wanna get outta here

Itachi: Not so much, just my fear of fangirls similar to you...not glompy

Neji: Hey I'd much mather have Tenten and I wanna get outta here so I have to complete dares. I wouldn't call it rape I'd much rather call it bondage

Tenten: Anybody gonna help here

Everyone: Eh nah

Tenten: Oh f!!! you all

Neji: Its not icky at all

Saskuretsu: I'm back from ransoming blizzard for Starcraft 2

Sasuke: Oh shit better get outta here -runs into room-

Hinata: Sasuke I have a suprise for you -hands present box-

Sasuke: -opens- -box explodes- Ouch!!!!!!!!

Hinata: Never go up there again or I'll rip your f!!!en brain out and feed it Akamaru

Sasuke: O..k meow...WTF..did I just...meow

Hinata: hehehe I made you a cat, cat boy

Saskuretsu: Good job Hinata, i expect you kept order while I was gone

Hinata: Indeed I did. Had a few problems with SasUKE-teme

Saskuretsu: You did hmmm -Sasuke turns into a 1 inch tall rat-

Sasuke: AAAHHHHH Meow HHHHHH Meow

Neji: I wanna be a dragon -turns into lizard- hey

Hinata: hehehe

Kurenai: Oh no she's getting _that_ look in her eye

Kakashi: What look

Kurenai: The Hiashi look

Anko: Is that bad

Kurenai: Yes she goes evil when she has that look...the only thing that calms her is little dogs

Saskuretsu's Chihuahua: Woof Woof Bark ROOOAAARRR Woof

Saskuretsu: Hey Tinkerbell get outta there

Neji: You named her

Saskuretsu: No she came with the name. Anyway next question (sorry I'm gonna make this chapter kinda quick)is from blackdrag

_Awsome story_

Questions/dares:  
naruto: how come u come back after 2 1/2 years and not learn anything from jiraiya except get a little smarter/mature?  
hinata:i dare you to let naruto fuck you for 24 hours straight  
Sasuke:i dare you to shove 10 6ft icicles and 20 kunai up your ass.  
Sakura:are you able to cut someone's dick off with a chakra scapel?  
Neji:go screw yourself you incest girly manwhore  
Itachi: i dare you to fuck the flower girl from akatsuki(im pretty sure there is 1)for 2hours. your rock now...(gives itachi 10,0 boxes of pocki).  
Saskuretsu: i dare you to make this story rated M.

Naruto: Because Jiraiya is an procrastinating asshole

Hinata: Damn well after the chapter because I got questions to answer

Sasuke: AAHHH holy shit meow -goes into back with icicles and kunai-

Sakura: I shall definately try

Neji: er...jackass

Itachi: Already did but I'll do it again -teleports to Akasuki hideout

Sasuke: no fair meow

Saskuretsu: Can't

Anko: Why not

Saskuretsu: Don't wanna. Ahem Rule #1 The author does not have to accept dares

Neji: Theres a fuckin' rulebook lemme see

Sasuke: Gaaaaahh my ass meow!!

Sakura: There thats long enough

Saskuretsu: Where were you

Sakura: -hand over letter from ItachiUchiha17-

Saskuretsu: Eh hmm ok

Naruto: I did learn Oodama Rasengan

Sakura: Shut the f!!! up your the reason I went to that place but on the bottom of the cliff there was a spa that I rested in for a while so I will thank you with a present later -thinks- maybe a bowl of ramen nah I'll get him a coupon for Icharaku ramen for 2 free ramen bowls

Naruto: -thinks- I bet she'll give me ramen

Saskuretsu: Next question is from million bullets...yum!

_Funny chapter. Anko's boob felt good._

Want to get in there and shoot Sasuke with a revolver and Anko has a pistol. Make Sasuke stand against the wall to get shot at, but lives and make Sasuke my punching bag. Then make Sasuke listen to Cher and Britney Spears for 2 hours, while I eat popcorn on a couch. He lives through it. For his reward he can have his ability to have kids again for all the torture he went through.

Sakura kiss Gaara.

I want Akamaru to pee on Neji's pants and make everybody laugh at him.

Make Ino really fat about 200 pounds.

Kakashi get Gai's butt on fire. Gai fart at Kakashi.

Temari who do you prefer to have as a boyfriend Sasuke, Naruto, Shino, or Kiba?

Anko: Screw you

Saskuretsu: Hey -tasers Anko-

Sasuke: WTF is wrong with you

Anko: -loads revolver- Die -shoots Sasuke in the mouth, leg, miss, miss, eye, stomach

Sasuke: I'm... ...ali...ve

Sakura: Unfortunately

Sasuke: -teleports to million bullets house to listen to Cher and Britney spears-

Sakura: No no no NO! Damn it all why Gaara why not Naruto or Kakashi at least they have hearts

Gaara: Shut up and get it over with

Sakura: -lightly kisses Gaara- there

Saskuretsu: You call that a kiss, get into it I wanna see some tongue

Sakura: WHAT!?

Gaara: Oh f!!!, well lets get it over with

Sakura: -makes out with Gaara- Gaaaah you taste like sand and anger -pukes-

Gaara: You taste like happy and flowers -pukes-

Neji: Hehe akamaru's not here

Hinata: Unfortunately

Neji: Hey

Hinata: What I just like dogs

Kakashi: Heh -lights Gai's ass on fire-

Gai: I have bad gas -farts at Kakashi and almost lights him on fire-

Gaara: Ino blew up

Saskuretsu: Hooray

Temari: Whoa that's a super tough one...why isn't Shikamaru up in the list...Naruto, he's the main character which would give me more screen time

Sakura: It wasn't as tough as making out with your brother

Temari: I believe you

Saskuretsu: Next question is from Mahou Inu Alex. Damn thats alot to type

_The Doggy Demon Overlord is back and its time to get serious!_

To Naruto and Hinata: Hinata-hime, you have to strip down naked. And Naruto you have to resist raping her for 72 hours. If you can't you'll be cursed, everytime you eat ramen it will taste like Sasgay.

To Kakashi: YOUR THE MOST SCARIEST FUCKING ANIME CHARACTER I EVER SAW!

To Itachi: Can you mind control Orochimaru into thinking he's a chicken and he jumps off a roof and splits his head open and his brains fly all over Saskuretsu's home. 

To Saskuretsu: Well blood does taste good. Don't ask. And its much cheaper then a bucket of red paint.

To Sasgay: DON'T CALL NARUTO GAY! Thats like saying Orochimaru is straight. HE BELONGS WITH HINATA-HIME AND IF YOU RAPE HIM! Scratch that. If you even get near him or talk to him, you'll be cursed to see your family die in a humorous way. Instead of being killed by Itachi, they'll be killed by penguins, a prinny and FARTS!

BEWARE OF THE DOGGY DEMON OVERLORD! I DEMAND ICE CREAM! VANILLA!

And Kabuto: You are cursed to transform into a pile of tampons. Right now.

BYE BYE WOOF!

One more thing

To Sasgay: I can talk to the dead, and you know what. YOUR MAMA SAID YOUR REALLY UGLY! YOUR UGLY!

HOLD ON! -plays eerie music- Good thing I have ear plugs. Now every guy who listens to this song is forced to dance and they can't control themselves. The only hope you have is if the girls stop the song.

Now. BYE BYE WOOF!

Naruto: Thats gonna be tough, good thing theres a difference between bondage and rape and sex

Hinata: Do the fans hate me -takes clothes off-

Kakashi: Cool I'm scary thats the exact image I want to convey

Itachi: Yes i can and I will but I have to wait until Orochimaru comes back to life somehow becasue Saskuretsu kinda threw him in a furnace

Saskuretsu: I know blood taste good I massacred 90,000 people in China with 2 tons of explosives and drank 200 cups of blood...I thought it was wine

Sasuke: Ahem Naruto will be gay when I'm done with him or bisexual

Naruto: I thought you said you weren't gay

Sasuke: I'm not, I was just gonna and him over to Orochimaru

Kabuto's Corpse turns into tampons

All Females: Thank god we need those

Sasuke: Yeah my parents never liked me much especially my dad meow

-All the guys start dancing-

Tenten: Should we help em'

Hinata: Nah

Naruto: I got an idea. Sexy Jutsu! Now i'm a girl hahaha

All the males: You asstard thats not fair (Sasuke: meow)

Saskuretsu: Did you know you can pronounce fuck with fouq with windows speech thing

Hinata: Thats all the questions

Saskuretsu: Good-bye -throws sleeping gas

E/A/N Sorry for the wait I'll release the next chapter reeeeaaaalllll soon about 1 or 2 day(s). I love all of you not in a gay way


	7. Hooray Itachi is high again

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N Good Morning everyone and I would like to announce my newest fanfic Antics of Akatsuki ahem here is the preview

"Dinner is served" Kisame declared. "Oh crap its tofu again, i hate tofu" Zetsu complained. "Well maybe you should cook then" Kisame mocked. "I'll start with you get over here I'm going to eat you you fucking jaws impersonator" Zetsu replied causing an cartoonish chase scene ending with a piece of the roof knocking out Zetsu. "God why don't you people just act normal" Akatsuki leader openly asked. "Thats coming from the guy whose name no one knows" Hidan mocked. "Hidan is not a good boy" Tobi said. "Your no good boy either" Hidan yelled. Everyone gasped. "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY NO ONE SAYS I'M NOT RAAAAHHHHH" Tobi screamed knocking out Hidan with a single blow. "Seems as though Tobi takes pride in his good boy-ness" Deidara stated.

This preview is exclusive to those fans of Ask Hinata none know of this fanfic exept for you readers take pride in it and now for someone a lot sexier than me Hinata

Hinata: Uhhhh thank you...

Naruto: It's not hard to be sexier than you saskuretsu

Saskuretsu: Why don't you go jack-off to gay porn

Naruto: i'm not gay

Saskuretsu: I'll allow Sasuke to delive you to Oreo

Naruto: No don't I won' insult you anymore

Tobi: I am a good boy

Itachi: Whats up Tobi

Tobi: Nothing much just being a good boy

Naruto: Whats with everyone calling Tobi a good boy

Saskuretsu: Because Tobi is a good boy duh

Naruto: Why

Sasuke: He just is

Tobi: Yes I am

Naruto: No really why besides if was a good boy he wouldn't be in Akatsuki

Deidara: Just accept that Tobi is a good boy

Tobi: Thank you Deidara-senpai

Deiadara: Yeah, you hear that Itachi we're going to be in another one of Saskuretsu's parodies yeah

Itachi: -sarcastic- Yay woohoo

Tobi: Yay woohoo

Hinata: I suppose I better get to the first question by one of the most loyal fans Mahou Inu Alex

_And this Doggy Demon Overlord is happy now._

To Sasuke: WTF DID I SAY YOU GAY EMO BITCH! Thats it your cursed now for talking to Naruto-san, and about trying to make him gay or bisexual. YOU ARE NOW CURSED TO YOUR FAMILY DIE BY PENGUINS! A prinny. And if you don't know what it is, do a yahoo search. AND FARTS BY ITACHI! FEEL THE PAIN LESSER UCHIHA!

To Saskuretsu and Gaara: THANK YOU FOR MAKING INO BLOW UP!

To Hinata: Just because I love you, you're cursed now. Everytime you put any clothing on, it will vanish into thin air.

To Itachi: Make all the girls Akatsuki. You really need girls in there or people will think your all gay for just having guys in it. Got that Greater Uchiha.

To Saskuretsu: Were you dancing when you listened to that eerie music?

To Neji: For you being a pervert and a asshole you will suffer. -pulls fist back- NOW DIE! -places fist in Neji's face- Extend finger. -flicks Neji's eye-

To all the girls except Hinata: All of you fight, Flavor of Love: Charm School Style. -throws in chairs and wine bottles- And the match is a wet t-shirt fight. -wets the girls with beer-

BYE BYE WOOF!

Sasuke: No mommy don't die waaaaaahhhhh

Gaara: Believe me it was my pleasure killing the blond whore

Hinata: Oh you must love me alot. Damn it I'm naked CRAP

Itachi: Yo any of you chicks want to join Akatsuki glaring at Temari

Temari: Gaara he is staring at me again

Gaara: Back off my sister

Itachi: Ok you can have her

Gaara: For the last fucking time I do not love Temari like that she is my sister

Kankarou: Yeah i'm neutral on the matter

Temari: I'm staying far away from you for a long time

Neji: Ow my eye what I promised to never ever ever touch Hinata ever again

Saskuretsu: All right chicks time to cat fight

Hinata: Well I'm glad I'm not in it although I am naked eh why do you hate me so Alex-san

Saskuretsu: He said he did it out of love anyway i wan't dancing read rule #1 again and rule #2 The author does not have to dance because Saskuretsu thinks dancing is gay unless your drunk then who cares

Neji: Yup I read it

Hinata: Hey how come you let Tobi and Itachi in your room and left us in here

Saskuretsu: Because Itachi is cool and Tobi is a good boy

Tobi: I am a good boy -hits head with wooden club- hehe the wood goes clunk against my mask hehe

Deiadara: I think Tobi is having one of those episodes again

Kurenai: You akatsuki guys are weird all weird Itachi is a pot head, Deidara is obsessed with art(oregamy) Tobi thinks he's a good boy and Kisame well is a shark Zetsu is a cannibal

Itachi: We get the fucking point, we're all weird

Tobi: Thinks? I am a good boy hmph

Hinata: Anyway a question from another loyal reader million bullets. No joke again

_Damn, this fanfiction is cool._

Tenten, you have to get naked, but Naruto can only see you, though.

Itachi, here is a magazine of Kurenai naked in every page. 30 pages long.

Anko, sorry for grabbing your boob since I bet you didn't like it. You are my favorite female Naruto character. You can have a magazine of Kakashi naked in every page, ask Hinata for one to magically appear, since I don't have one. (I am not sorry that I grabbed her boob sh). 

Sasuke, who is the person that you respect the most in that room your in? You have to pick someone.

Gaara, if Temari wasn't ever related to you would you do her?

million bullets

Tenten: What! Ok but Naruto if you even glance in my general direction I shall eliminate you -takes off clothes-

Itachi: Sweet I love hentai...cool a HinataXKurenai pic

Kurenai & Hinata: WHAT!!!

Anko: Hmmm alright I forgive you just virgins do not like their boobs being grabbed...sweet Kakashi naked Hinata plz plz plz plz plz

Hinata: Alright

Tobi: Hinata is a good girl

Hinata: Th...ank you

Sasuke: ehhhhhh Kakashi-sensei

Gaara: Kill her

Itachi I bet that wasn't the answer he expected

Temari: What answer did he expect

Itachi: That he woul rape/fuck/bond you

Temari: Oh ew thats nasty I don't even think of Gaara of ever being attractive

Gaara: Hey your one of the only unbashable characters don't ruin it

Sakura: You know Anko if you wanted hentai I sell it cheap all the yaoi/het no yuri hentai I even have you getting raped by Kakashi

Anko: Cool how much

Sakura: 3 Ryo

Anko: Cool how much

Sakura: 3 Ryo

Anko: Here you go -hands 3 ryo and takes photo album-

Hinata: Next question is from a new reviewer CatgirlTani

_To: Sakura you are sutch a bitch go to hell.Oh by the way pink does never go with red.I dare you to rape Garaa.  
To;Hinata-chan I dare you to go in a room alone with Naruto and do some HENTAI things and positions SORRY! my perverted side took in,kick neji in the balls.HINATA YOU ROCK!! YOU CAN KICK SAKURAS ASS ANYTIME _

Sakura: Fuck you

Sasuke: Aren't you going to taser her

Saskuretsu: Nope she's my fave. Char.

Sasuke: Suck up

Saskuretsu: Fuck off at least I don't have 20 kunai up my ass

Sasuke: Hmph

Hinata: Sweet c'mon Naruto -grabs Naruto's shirt collar and "noises" start coming out-

Sakura: Wow Naruto walked in here a virgin and walks out having sex like 29 times...makes you think

Saskuretsu: Any body know that Temari was one of the first captured but didn't come around until later chapters

Temari: I'm not so curious

Saskuretsu: You'll find out in 9 months

Temari: Thats why I've been puking lately

Gaara: Great just great

Saskuretsu: -thinks- I was just kidding and now she will also be paranoid mwhahahaha

Tobi: You're not a good boy Saskuretsu

Saskuretsu: Hey Tobi do you want to go back on the box

Tobi: No no no no!!!!

Saskuretsu: Then I suggest you stop or else -points a cage-

Tobi: Tobi is a good boy don't put me in the box

Hinata: ooook next question is from another common reviewer ItachiUchiha17

_No no no no no! Sakura treated to a spa?! For that Sakura is dared to face temporary death by fire (I have to bring her back so that I can torture her again) Itachi I'm glad you aren't afraid of me even though its hard not to glomp you for hours I will continue to keep my hands to myself. Sasuke you have the same fate as Sakura. Naruto you have more ramen. What else is there? Tenten (even though i don't really like you) you get to paddle everyone that's alive who did help you out with Neji. Last but not least Temari I'm daring you to get Shikamaru, marry him in Vegas, and have his babies. That's all for now_

Sakura: What why do you hate me. You can't win Saskuretsu's the author -dies(temporarily)-

Itachi: Yes just don't glomp me no more raping for me thank you

Sasuke: Crap I'm going to hell -dies(maybe not temporarily)-

Naruto: Cool more ramen mmmmm beef flavor

Tenten: Finally i question for me hey wait i like Neji but ok -paddles Lee's corpse and Neji-

Temari: When I get out I planned to -starts daydreaming about Shikamaru-(sorry my caps lock button got stuck)

Gaara: Grrr I'll kill em'

Temari: You do and I'll burn snwuggles

Gaara: Nooooooo not not mr.snwuggles

Temari: Yes and I will feed him to Kankaro's pig, ClazxvnHackcv

Gaara: Nooooooo i'll be good just don't harm mr.snuggles

Tobi: Yay Gaara is gona be a good boy just like Tobi

Deidara: Hmm I get no questions I wonder why

Itachi: Maybe because you are a girly man whore

Gaara: A blonde girly man whore

Deidara: Whats with you and blondes

Gaara: The 3 people I hate the most are blonde thats why 1You 2Ino 3Temari

Temari: WHAT

Gaara: You threatened to kill snwugles, my best friend

Sakura: I'm alive again

Naruto: How was it

Sakura: Great I went heaven and met some of my ancestors and relaxed in rivers of milk and honey see you can't win

Naruto: Where's Sasuke-teme

Sakura: I have no idea

Somewhere in hell

Satin: I am no letting him Saskuretsu

Saskuretsu: Do it or I'll mr.snwuggles

Satin: Nooo fine

Back in the room/prison

Sasuke: I'm back guys

Everyone: CRAP

Hinata: Next and final question is from Seret a friend of Saskuretsu's

_Yay for humor_

Sakura: Why deo people bash you so much your not that bad

Sasuke: Die you fucken asstard, why do you act so cold to everyone

Itachi: Smoke some more pot and pop some more pills

Naruto: Why do you like rmaen so much

update very very very soon

Sakura: I don't know why people hate me my fan girlishness was part of my of my character development

Sasuke: No I survived hell and I will survive this ordeal because I am emo ohhhh

Itachi: Ok it just arrived in the mail -smokes some-

Deidara: Does it feel good to be high again

Itachi: I need pop some pills still cause pop op op pop telyversion veda I am no fool Elzar you can not fool me I will not fall for your trap of sexy women

Tobi: No Itachi is not a good boy he does drugs remember kids drugs are bad

Sasuke: Shut up Tobi no one wants to hear it

Deidara: I do

Sasuke: Shut up Deidara

Itachi: No noe eats my pam chicken it has no more white meat how dare you ruin my pizza freshness mr.gnome now i shall shoot cats at you with ym hamser gun -hits tobi with unrolled toilet paper thing-

Saskuretsu: Here's your prozac Itachi

Itachi: Weeeeeeee -rubs but on floor like dog- I am a good dog woof

Tobi: I am a good boy hello

Itachi: You are balony oh I like balony it taste all sou when you add semen

Everyone: EW HE MASTURBATES ON BALONY

Sasuke: Eh I saw it cuming get it

Sakura: Boooooh you suck get off the stage

Naruto: You suck worst than that sitcom I watched the other week

Temari: Hey guys you know there is a TV in the room

Everyone: Cool

Saskuretsu: Time to sleep

Everyone: awww

-Saskuretsu throws sleeping gas into room again

E/A/N I updated at 6:30 because I didn't sleep I sat here and wrote this for an hour. Hope you enjoyed it. Make sure to read Antics of Akatsuki...k...plz


	8. Stories NOT discontinued

_**Ask Hinata**_

The story is not discontinued!

I haven't submitted a new chapter in forever but there is hope I just started the new chapter so don't give up on Ask Hinata yet, for some reason, school gives me inspiration to write, maybe its cause I got nothing better to do and in the summer I have tons of things I could be doing, I mean you guys had better things to do with your summer, if you didn't you should have, its not like your some hermit who sits in a dark corner and reads fanfiction and watches anime all day while eating chips and jacking off to hentai.

I can't write right now because I have pink eye and my parents say its bad for my eye to look at a computer screen and blah blah blah, all that other bullshit

Do not review this note: Or else you won't be able to review the next chapter


	9. Back from the dead!

I HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N Aw fuck I haven't updated in so long I had to reread the story, ok here my excuses I mean reasons for not updating 1. My laptop broke 2. I fixed it then my god damn internet cut out! 3. Then my laptop broke again...for good 3. I had to go on vacation 4. I dusted off my computer and had to get used to a regular keyboard 5. I've been preoccupied Damn thats alot of excuses, ON WITH THE SHOW

Hinata: I feel like we've been sleeping for a month

Saskuretsu: Month and half actually

Sasuke: Tv tv tv tv

Saskuretsu: Shut the hell up

Itachi: -tied to the fan by his ankles- Someone turn on the spinny thing

Neji: -turns fan on high-

Itachi: -swinging at 40 MPH- AHHHHHHHH -pukes-

Sakura: Eww its going everywhere

Itachi: -puke turns into a tornado and destroys all objects in the room-

Sasuke: You dumb fuck, you killed the TV!!!!

Hinata: Fiiiiiiiirst Question!!!! Mahou Inu Alex, -sarcastic- I wonder what wonderful things he sent

_The loyal Doggy Demon Overlord is back. Just call me DDO for short or Alex-sama._

_Saskuretsu: You updated at 6:30 and I got it at 8:30. Are you at the West coast? And I'll make sure to see Antics of Akatsuki._

_Hinata-hime : Your curse is undone. FEEL FREE TO WEAR CLOTHES AND NOT WONDER AROUND NAKED! Maybe for now. BITCHSLAP SASUKE FOR BEING A GAY EMO RETARD!_

_Sasuke: Does Hinata-hime have to choke a ? Yep. And that is you. YOUR CURSED TO BECOME A BLONDE AND LOSE YOUR EMOINESS NOW!_

_Neji: You better not touch Hinata-hime anymore or I'LL REVEAL TO THE WORLD YOUR DEEPEST DARKIEST SECRET ABOUT YOUR HAIR! That its a wig. Opps._

_Tobi: You are a good boy. And you know what good boys do? They cut Deidara bald. And if you don't people will think your bad. And you don't want others to think your bad right? And plus. -fakes tears- I'll cry. And do you think you can live with it._

_-smirks-_

_Deidara: Your now cursed to be genderless. MAN WOMAN BASTARD!_

_Sakura: Honestly I thought you were to bitchy. But now your doing fine on my list of anime characters._

_Itachi: Make Sasuke reveal his name backwards so he can go back to hell. Make sure he says ekusaS. Then you can get your pot. POT OF SOUP ! I'M PUTTING YOU ON COLD TURKEY JUST TO TORTURE YOU! -insert lightning and evil laughter-_

_Can't spell slaughter without laughter._

_BYE BYE WOOF!_

Saskuretsu: No I'm central its this fucken network, everyone recieves stuff 2 hours after its actually released

Hinata: SALVATION!!! -puts on clothes- Hey who meesed with my wardrobe?

Saskuretsu: I may slutted it up a little

Hinata: A little? It shows everything I don't want anyone to see

Sakuresu: Shut up and slapa Ssuke

Hinata: Gladly -slaps Sasuke, sending him into a wall-

Sasuke: You can't take away my emoness

Saskuretsu: Yeah that takes out who we're gonna make fun of for the next 50 chapters or so

Lee: I have risen from the dead

Saskuretsu: Cool I mean the risen from the dead part not the I part

Lee: And I have an idea!

Sakura: Seriously?

Lee: A themed chapter!

Saskuretsu: What type of theme

Lee: Ninjas!

Saskuretsu: ...just when I had hope for him

Itachi: -licking up his puke- Taste like drugs and alchohol and shame

Saskuretsu: I have for sale a sand paper dildo

Sakura: Ow, I'll buy one to use on other people

Naruto: Your a lesbian

Sakura: No I'll stick it up your ass your retarded monkey

Naruto: Is that a yes?

Sakura: No -buys dildo and shoves it up his ass-

Naruto: OW!

Saskuretsu: Hey Naruto I saw this questio while I was looking on the comments ofa hentai picture about 11/2 ag, could you make a shodw clone do sexyjutsu and fuck it?

Naruto: I suppose you could but I never thought about it

Saskuretsu: I'd totally do that

Neji: Its not a wig, its a hat duh!

-Giant demons appear in middle of riim-

Saskuretsu: Demon themed

Lee: I will Gorvon bringer of light

Neji: You be village idiot

Dosu: Where am I, heaven was nice...

Temari: You're a fictional world created by a mad man, and in some dudes basement...dungeon

Dosu: Cool

All: ...OH MY GOD A MUMMY!

Dosu: -slams his head against the wall- I'm not a mummy you idiots!

Ino: -simmering in a pot-

Saskuretsu: Who's cooking whore?

Lee: Oh I am, I found a mushed pelt of skin so I figured I'd eat it like I do squirrels

Deidara: -riding a paper dolphin- Weeeeeeee

Tobi: -takes a whiff of his cocaine- Tobi is the leader of the Akatsuki and is Madara Uchiha(Seriously)

Deidara: We follow an idiot!

Itachi: -dreaming he's eating cockroaches while floating on clouds of orange piss- It smells bad up here!

Lee: -foams at mouth-

Tenten: Oh no Lee's rabies is breaking out

Neji: Who cares?

Tenten: Last time he bit me and it hurt like hell

Neji: Where exactly did he bite you

Tenten: How is that important

Dosu: So how do you guys occupy yourselves?

All: You'll see

Tobi: -jumps on ceiling and crawl around on it-

Hinata: Shouldn't we get on with the question?

Sasuke: Shut up Hinata

Saskuretsu: gasp BLASPHEMY! -hangs Sasuke by his eye sockets from rusty metal hook-

Tobi: Tobi will cut off Deidaras hair -cuts off hair and eats it- Eck taste like dog shampoo

Deidara: I had to use Zetsu's last time I showered

Sakura: Would he use mulch

Lee: No manure is a good plant growth

Deidara: No wonder ii was brown...my hair AHHHHHHHHH its shitty and cut off AHHHHHHHH -has panic attack, heart attack and seizure at the same time-

Pein: Oh no Deidaras dead

Deidara: Nah I am ok

Pein: I can't leave here without a dead body...

All: -look at Sasuke-

Sasuke: HEY!

Pein: Fair enough -slices Sasuke's brain in half and takes him away-

Sakura: So we can leave as long as we have a dead body

Saskuretsu: It was a flaw in the design, but if you try try to leave I'll put Ozzy Osbourne back in here

Naruto: NO not him he ass raped me!

Itachi: On with the question

Deidara: Hwha dude I'm a man-woman, see no penis

All: Nasty

Naruto: I did not see that cumming

Sakura: Shut up your not the one makes stupid jokes thats Lee and Tobi

Tobi: -holding off the demons- Tobi needs help WAAAAAAAHHHHH

Deidara: I'm coming -helps Tobi-

Itachi: Wait for me -follows Deidara not even knowing what they're doing

Gaara: Could we leave here with the dead bodies of demons?

Saskuretsu: No I looked at the contract it said only black haired Uchiha emos

Gaara I must turn Itachi emo and kill him to escape

Itachi: I can't be emo I have drugs, they're emo repelants!

Sakura: Thank you, I am not bitchy

Neji: Yeah right

Sakura: Fuck you

Neji: $5(sarcasm)

Itachi: Soup...I am kinda hungry, fuck we killed off Sasuke

Lee: But I am back so that evens things out and Dosu is here!

Dosu: How do you people put up with this idiot?

Sakura: Like this -injects Lee with tranquilizer-

Hinata: ...anyway next question is from million bullets

_another great chapter._

I want a giant gun to appear and Sasuke is placed in the barrel of the gun facing the ground, the barrel of the revolver is wider than a person, and I want Anko and me to pull the trigger. Then I want Naruto to lay a sombrero on top of Sasuke's remains dancing around the sombrero for a little bit with maracas.

I dare Tenten to give Sakura paper cuts in between her fingers and toes.

Deidara cut all your hair off.

Tobi stop being a good boy by smoking pot with Itachi and Deidara.

Kakashi you have to transform into a women for the rest of the chapter.

Neji use your byakugan on Kakashi after he transforms.

Naruto I want you to forget that Hinata likes you.

Hinata how do feel about the dare I just gave Naruto about him forgetting about you?

Temari put Gaara's mr. snuggles in the gun from before and pull the trigger. HAHAHAHAHA!

Itachi, what would you do if you could never use the sharingan for some reason.

Give everybody burritos.  


Saskuretsu: Sasuke died...wow you don't realize how many threatening dares are made towards him until he's dead -throws sombrero- dance Naruto dance

Naruto: Seriously?

Deidara: I cut it off already

Tobi: No pot, cocaine -sniffs more- Duh

Kakashi: Why wouldn't I become a chick I could masturbate to myself

Temari: Your a sick bastard

Naruto: He's a copycat! I did that first

-crickets chirping-

Sakura: Its more suprising that you did it...nasty

Neji: NEVA I don't look at men, exept when I'm drunk...and thats only men I confuse for women

Tenten: You confused me for a man once

Deidara: I don't blame him

Tenten: Shut up

Itachi: -uses up last of his pot- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh if I could never use the sharingan I'd kill my self in a kamikaze attack against the Land of Vegtsbles because potatoes suck!

Naruto: Forget what?

Sakura: Idiot

Hinata: I'm angry and confused

Gaara: I dunno who Mr.Snuggles is but Mr. Snwuggles will never be hurt -flaming eyes- RAAAAH -foams at mouth and passes out-

Temari: Oh my god Lee must've bit him quick Kankuro get in serum

-Semen squirts on her face-

Temar: I said serum not semen

Kankuro: Sorry -tosses her seringe with antidote to rabies-

Temari: Idiot -jabs Gaara in the eye- Woops

Gaara: -shoots up- AHHHHHHHH -runs around room weith needle in his eye- AAAAAHHHHH -falls unconscious-

Lee: Hey I got another theme

Sakura: Please shut up

Lee: Dairy Queen!

Saskuretsu: Thats an awesomely random idea!

All: -gasp-!

Lee: Yay Lee did good, Lee did good -claps-

Saskuretsu: Lee no did good, Saskuretsu came up with idea and put it in your head

Lee: Oh no -head explodes-

Sakura: Thats getting so old

Lee: -regenerates-

-The tv that was destroyed repairs itself-

All: COOL!

-Forcefield appears around it-

All: NOOOOOOO

Saskuretsu: This is so fun

Naruto: Hey if Saskuretsu is on a TV -changes channel on TV-

Saskuretsu: -comes in room- Put the channel back!

Naruto: No 0watches Bleach- Sweet

Saskuretsu: Oh bleach -sits down next to him-

All: Get him

Saskuretsu: Maybe later for right now you guys have questions

Hinata: Next question is from...Neon-Hime

_SORRY SAKURA! the one who said that was my cousin CatGirlTani :\ you are relly cool in the shippuuden.Sakura you would never take Naruto from Hinata would you?IF you do that you are must kill list no offence.Here icecream :).  
HINATA you are the coolest XD.Revive Neji and kick him in the balls(really hard well 50 times):D here some candy.  
Temari what's whith Gaara and his teddy bear.Sorry Gaara!!_

This is for all Naruto characters would you come  
to PUERTO RICO please  
it relly pretty here

Sakura: Yes a fan who does not hate

Saskuretsu: For the record I'm giving the Itachi fan-girl a shot at you next time

Sakura: Fuck, well no I'd never want Naruto, he's an annoying spiky haired brat with an attention disorder

Hinata: I am the coolest and thats why I have power here -kicks neji in the nuts- I don't particularly like candy so -throws it in the air, fight like dogs for it you maggots, this is fun

All: -fight for candy except Sakura who has icecream-

Temari: Gaara had Mr.Snwuggles since he was like 1 and its very special to himj so kills everyone who touches it or threatens it and I hold on to it to control him

Gaara: No one will hurt you again Mr.Snwuggles!

Saskuretsu: No ones going to Puerto Rico! I took them to Kazumelover the summer and they friken blew it up! plus fuck puertio rico

Sakura: You notice you're only really getting long reviews from Alex and bullets and ramble and answer their questions making the story seem longer

Saskuretsu: Shut up they don't need to know that

Tobi: -crawling on the wall eating it- Nhahahahah

Deidara: Tobi down down Tobi -hitting Tobi with broom-

Tobi: -hisses at him-

Itachi: -jumps on Tobi- Bad Tobi get down!

Tobi: -bites Itachi-

Itachi: -steals Tobi's cocaine and snorts it all-

Tobi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -attacks Itachi-

Itachi: Ahhhhh -gets in a fight with Tobi-

Saskuretsu: Just remember no killing

Hinata: Well anyway time for Itachi Uchiha 17

_Damn you, Sakura!! I'll have my way somehow! Anyway, Itachi that baloney thing you had going was icky, but then again it can't be any worse than Jason Biggs screwing an apple pie. Its always good fun when you get high so get high more often. Naruto are you tired of ramen yet? If you are I have pocky instead. Kakashi I dare you to have a threesome with Anko and Iruka. Refusal to do so will result in torture in a form similar to the one Itachi subjected you to with Tsukoyumi(sp). Sakura since you I can't kill you the way I desire, you have to eat a pair of Sasuke's dirty underwear. Later_

Sakura: You get a free shot at me so bring the worst you can to take out all your anger

Itachi: So what Deidara liked it

Deidara: That stuff on the balony was semen EWWWWW AHHHH YUCK!

Lee: Didn't Jason Biggs screw an apple pie in season 2 of Masturbation in Stereo

Saskuretsu: Who the fuck is Jason Biggs and I could make a joke about his movies/shows/music

Naruto: I ain't tired of ramen is fucken good, pocky can suck my dick ramen is the way to go pocky is the stuff you eat 9 boxes of while your baked off your asss at your best friends sisters house while fucking her dog

Sakura: Personal experience

Naruto: The Kyuubi's personal experience

Saskuretsu: Thats nasteh

Kakashi: Anko and Iruka I don't share with bisexuals! However that torture hurt like fuck

Sakura: Sasuke doesn't wear underwear and he's dead

Saskuretsu: I think I'm gonna wrap up this chapter soon so last question

Hinata: Gasp hate-mail, all true fan look away!

_Sorry to say this, well no I'm not but Naruhina is a very made up couple that won't happen. Advice to any story ever made. The two most important charaters from the opposite sex always get togther. Case and point the Title Naruto. Then you need to think hm, who more important to the Naruto serious Sakura or Hinata... I wonder. Since Sakura is on his team I guess it would be her thus NaruSaku is the way to go. But I will let you continue in your impossible Naruhina world as do most Naruto fans._

Saskuretsu: Ohhh how shall respond to this...this hate-mail, I respect the fans and this is how you treat me, this is a na outrage FUCK YOU, fuck you up the ass with a crab, fuck you with an LCD computer screen, NaruSaku is a stupid and your stupid for liking it, this is people who like Hinata and if you don't like Hinata you fuck a beached whale!

Hinata: Wow

Saskuretsu: -acting as if nothing happened just now- Sleepy time!

E/A/N Well I finished the long awaited chapter and I promise I will update often because the school year started, I'm sorry to all my precious fans!


	10. Is it over? NOPE!

_**Ask Hinata 9!**_

A/N Oh yeah bitches I am not terribly late, blame Mahou for getting me addicted to Negima(don't literally blame him) Damn you Negima, damn you and you ecchi greatness! And when your writing comedy do you laugh at yourself when you make a funny joke cause I do

Neji: Got any Velvet Revolver?

Saskuretsu: YOU SAID THE V WORD! NO VELVET REVOLVER SUCKS MONKEY ASS! Listen to Stone Temple Pilots Scott Weiland belongs with them! Not gay little slash and his pussy ass band

Neji: So you like Stone Temple Pilots but you hate Velvet Revolver?

Saskuretsu: Yep Scotts singing the wrong genre, compare Wikcked Garden and She Builds Quick Machines and tell me which is better

Hinata: sigh Neji and Saskuretsu with their music fetishes

Saskuretsu: Ok then can we agree on Tool?

Neji: Tool sucks

Saskuretsu: I'm giving you to the count of 10 to run or be killed...you did not just insult Tool, I think you did that is crime against humanity

Neji: He's atheist he sings about anti-christianity

Saskuretsu: Fuck religion

Hinata: SHUT UP!

Saskuretsu: Fine -walks in room- I wanna know how it feels to be in here -swallows key- Looks like I'll be in here till I have to shit

All: -look at each other- Lets get him!

Saskuretsu: -all of them bounce off a barrier- Haha don't think I'm that stupid! Anyway -glomps Hinata- I get to do this, MINE!

Hinata: No ones gonna help me right?

All: That barrier was electified!

Saskuretsu: Special Guest! For this chapter and next(Just to piss off Alex-san) Chisame! That green haired bitch who thinks she's superior to everyone!

Chisame: WTF! Why aren't I in Mahora!? Where the fuck am I!

Deidara: Hey Sakura, look a bigger bitch than you

Sakura: Gee thanks

Chisame: Fuck all of you, you all suck

Naruto: Hey are you that web idol?

Chisame: Maybe...

Naruto: Oh I masturbate to...never mind

Saskuretsu: And just to make me happy, Eva-chan!

Eva-chan: Ummmm how am I outside Mahora

Saskuretsu: I don't wanna bother Nodoka-chan

Eva-chan: Why bother me?

Saskuretsu: Because you like to suck things

Eva-chan: Yeah blood not balls

Saskuretsu: We'll see

Kakashi: -just waking up- Whats with the new characters, they OCs?

Saskuretsu: Like I could imagine something so demonly as Chisame or as awesome as Eva-chan

Kakashi: ...oh their from Negima that anime you wouldn't stop watching all week

Tenten: Hey I'm not getting lines can I go home?

Tobi: Hey Saskuretsu you didn't kill Neji yet

Saskuretsu: Oh yeah

Neji: Awww fuck, fuck you Tobi!

Saskuretsu: Hey Eva-chan make him your slave!

Evageline: I don't bite faggots

Neji: HEY!

Evageline: Eh oh well -bites him and sucks his blood turning him into her slave-

Itachi: Oh I have a question for the scary sexy vampire girl, are you fucking Chachamaru

Evangeline: Thats proposterous!

Itachi: I'm just asking cause you 2 seem to never seperate and...

Eva: LIES!

Saskuretsu: Yeah Itach,i she has sex with Nagi, her and little Asuna

Eva: LI...ok thats truthalthough Asuna I don't know

Hinata: Can we do the first review now?

Saskuretsu: Eh I guess

Hinata: First is from...Mahou Inu Alex

Saskuretsu: DAMN YOU MY FRIEND!

_HI EVERYONE! The Doggy Demon Overlord is back!_

To Hinata-hime: -pulls out cake- FOR YOU! I HOPE YOU LIKE VANILLA! OH! -hands over whip- Go dominatrix on Naruto.

To Naruto: ENJOY IT AND I PROMISE TO GIVE YOU RAMEN!

To Itachi: -pulls out syringes- Want something to make you high?

To Tobi: -pulls out rabbid- Its not good at closing doors, cleaning, milking cows or cooking turkeys. But it can dance, attack with plungers... And scream DAH! Over and over.

To Sasuke: -pulls out poisoned tomato- Here a riped tomato.

To Saskuretsu: Ignore flamers. If their comment is an anonymous one I just delete. Besides most of them are jealous losers who's stories su(ck) donkey balls and they're just undiscovered writers who will make great stories. (I love saying lies like that. I know people like that su(ck.) and they'll never be well known because many of them are lazy a(ss losers, pri(cks or cu(BLEEP)ts.) Just like youtube flamers.

BYE BYE WOOF!

Hinata: Ohhh cake...eh I'm more of an uke than a seme plus I'm very pacifist

Naruto: Well she's not doing it

Itachi: -alex misses and stabs his ear drum- NYAH I'M DEF!!!!!!!!!! -screw in lightbulbs in his ears- I can hear again! -has now lightbulb eyes and ears-

Tobi: Tobi has an idea -shoves a power cord up Itachi's ass and the lightbulbs light up-

Temari: Whats that bright light

Saskuretsu: Its Itachi isn't he brilliant

Tobi: Tobi does not understand what Alex just said(seriously what the fuck did you just say note: I am a 7th grader)

Sakura: You're 12

Saskuretsu: Uh, DUH!

Sasuke: I could tell by your poor vocabulary

Saskuretsu: Me ain't stupid you is stoopid BTW when did you come back?

Sasuke: God gave me another chance

Saskuretsu: I thought Japanese were Shintoist and Buddist, Budda you fat fat bastard

Sasuke: Oh a tomatoe -eats- Agh -faints-

Saskuretsu: Well I suppose he does have a point, main characters do usually get together BUT I don't think Kishimoto-san will do that cliche'

Eva: I wanna go home...I actually miss that place and my friends

Saskuretsu: HA YOU ADMIT IT!

Hinata: -finds a door- I wonder whats in here -goes through- OH YOUR GOD!

Saskuretsu: Oh what is it cause I nstalled a door and let the dungeon master pick what the door led to

Hinata: It leads to an amusement park called Ecchi Land

Saskuretsu: AWESOME! -runs through door-

Hinata: Heh it was actually a door to hell -closes and locks door-

All: We're free!

Sakura: Saskuretsu had the key you idiots!

All: AW FUCK!

Hinata: So who's the master of the dimension now?

Chisame: I'll do it

Tobi: -eats Chisame- Taste like bitch

Itachi: How does bitch taste like pussy?

Tobi: Kinda exept more sour

Itachi: Nasty thats like putting ketchup on Coca-Cola

Gaara: -in room- -face appears on screen- HAHAHAHAH! I am the new master of the dimension also why are there guardian dragons in Saskuretsu's room their staring at me like they wanna eat me

Naruto: I wanted to be master

Hinata: Well I like being host its much more fun I still have amazing powers -picks up Sasuke with her mind and bashes him against the wall- hehe

Tenten: -tries to use senbon to pick lock- Almost got it

-senbon breaks inside lock making it unpickable-

Tenten: Aw son of a cunt

Lee: Ohhh bad words are bad

Meanwhile...

Saskuretsu: -talking to Satan- I get like 500 emails a day

Satan: Wow you have that many fans

Saskuretsu: Nah their all spam sometimes I'll get a fan-mail if I'm lucky

Satan: Ohhh you suck

Saskuretsu: I like to call it undiscovered talent

Satan: Suuuuuuuuure _he's in denial_

Saskuretsu: Can I go home I left the Negima characters in my prison and if I don't return they'll be stuck there...forever

Satan: Whats so attractive about Evangeline?

Saskuretsu: The evil, malice, sexiness and vampirism make a good combination

Satan: I suppose 2 evils make a good

Saskuretsu: I'm not evil I'm just...evil yeah whatever

Satan: Yeah yeah yeah you go home after the chapter

Saskuretsu: Aw horse fuck

Satan: Anime sucks anyway

Saskuretsu: -starts strangling Satan- RAAAAHHHHHH -demon eyes- -demonic voice- ANIME RULEZ

Satan: The demon shit don't work on demons asstard

Back in the protaginist room

Itachi: I'm an antagonist you idiot

Shut up

Itachi: You shut up voive in my head!

No why don't you suck your mothers balls you Sasuke raping monkey fucker

Itachi: Sasuke can choke on his own dick for all I care

Sasuke: Thats harsh -cuts himself- I feel dizzy

Itachi: -howls like an indian- I am a donkey

Sakura: Does anyone feel like we're repaeting jokes?

Itachi: My cat at the moon in a full potatoe

Naruto: I know its like deja-vu

Dead Cat: Quack I is a mummy ROAR!

All: ...reality is fallingt apart since Saskuretsu isn't here!!!!!

Dead Cat: -transforms into giant penis- -speaking out of the urethra- Gwon shookie

Itachi: Got any giant vagina trasfomations?

Giant Penis: -ejaculates on Itachi-

Itachi: Ewwww I'm like my baloney, covered in semen and filled with drugs

Hinata: How informative Itachi, next review from Inner Cameron hmm she hadn't reviewed in so long I thought she died

We hadn't updated in so long she probably thought we died

_can I write a mesage to the cast_

Hinata: Is that a question?

Naruto: No

Hinata: Moving on

Itachi: I like cheese cake it taste like my tits

Deidara: Of course it does

Tobi: Tobi isn't Obito Tobi is Madara Uchiha it said so in the manga or at least wikipedia said it said it in the manga, TOBI IS LEADER OF AKATSUKI YAY! Tobi will decorate the lair orange and have sex with the organization dog

Deidara: Splendid we're led by an bipolar idiot

Tobi: Tobi isn't stupid even if he does refer to himself in 3rd person!

Itachi: I can't feel my testacles

Temari: -kicks him in the balls- Felt that?

Itachi: -falls over in pain- Apparently

Dosu: Ugh this place is more boring than Chukie Cheese

**Flashback**(10 years ago)

Dosu: -4 years old at chukie cheese-

Chukie Cheese: Hey there little fella wanna suck my boner?

Dosu: Whats that?

Chukie: Lets find out! -leads him to another room-

**End Flashback**

Hinata: We did not need to know that

Dosu: -curled up in fetal position-

Sakura: So now that we agreed everyone in here is fucked up can we move along

Evangeline: -trying to go through the wall- Damn it their magic proof

Giant Penis: -ejaculates on Eva-

Hinata: Aw c'mon I'm pretty sure Sai's the only one who would want that thing around turn into something else

-it transforms into a wounded crow-

Crow: Squawk squawk

Itachi: That bird stole my line!

Crow: -pecks at Itachi's lightbulb eyes-

Itachi: -glass shatters into his brain- Haha it just went right through the cocaine, meth, and pot already broke my brain

Eva: How do you live with yourself

Itachi: Pretty easy, drugs

Chisame: You guys all suck, drugs make you stupid, stupid like Baka Rangers stupid

Itachi: -bites Chisame- I'm not stupid, you are stupid those who find themselves superior are usually the ones who are weak and powerless!

Chisame: Raaaah -attacks Itachi-

Naruto: Go hot bitch

Deidara: Yeah right I'd give her a 3/10 at best

Meanwhile...Saskuretsu: Hey reailty is falling apart up there can I go home!?

Satan: NO! You will read this yaoi or die

Saskuretsu: I might as well already be dead cause this yaoi is killing me!

Back to the moron headquarters

Naruto: Hey I'm not that stupid

Naruto shut up, your mom eats cum for breakfast

Naruto: Meanie

Hinata: Shouldn't this be bumped up into an M for such strong sexual references and language

Sakura: Saskuretsu's not here to do it

Gaara: -lloking at the 14 terrabytes of hentai- I have gone to heaven and I see lesbians

Temari: Pervert

Kankuro: Aw let him have his fun I mean how much porn could 14 terrabytes be

**30 years later**

Gaara: I'm finally finished

Internet: 90 more terrabytes of porn has been discovered

Gaara: NOOOOOO!!!!...YEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!

**Back to Present**

Temaru: That much

Kankuro: Oh...shut up

Hinata: Everyone please quiet down thank you next question is from Nic81393

Sakura: So he/she is 14?

Hinata: Well thats if the numbers represent a birthdate

_Okay, I've read this for awhile, so I thought I'd review._

Saskuretsu: Nice story. One of the better ones I've read.  
Hinata: Well, since you haven't gotten alot of questions yet... How would you feel if Sasuke killed Naruto during one of the final episodes? Also, sorry, I couldn't think of any other question.  
Sakura: How would you feel if it was Naruto who went to Orochimaru's side, then killed Sasuke?  
Naruto: How do you feel about Minato Namikaze, you know, the fourth hokage?  
Tobi: Since I want you to go more insane than you are now... Being a good boy makes you a bad boy. And being a bad boy makes you a good boy!  
Itachi: Well, I have two questions for you. One, my cousin is an Emo like Sasuke, how can I get her to admit it? Two, I think I might be able to do the Mangekyo Sharingan thing. How would you suggest I test it?  
Tenten: Why won't you have any flashbacks about your past? Everyone else has!  
Kankuro: I dare you to take Gaara's bear thing and slice it with a kunai!  
Temari: I dare you to help Kankuro with his dare (since we all know it would be too hard for him to do it alone).  
Gaara: If I told you a way to go back in time to stop the Shukaku from ever being sealed in you, would you stop the Shukaku thing?

Saskuretsu: -in hell- YAY I'M LOVED!

Hinata: I would hunt Sasuke down and rip his balls off and feed it to his brother while stabbing Sasuke in the eye with a Martini Umbrella

Naruto: Scary -shivers-

Hinata: Just kidding I'd move on with my life

Sakura: If Naruto joined Orochimaru and killed Sasuke, what could I do is the question but I suppose I would marry I dunno...

Naruto: -whispers- Ino or Hinata

Sakura: PERVERT! -punches him-

Naruto: 4th hokage-sama ummm he has a strange resemblence to me so most people think he's my dad but if my dad killed himself to seal an evil demon inside me he's an asshole

Tobi: TOBI NO UNDERSTAND! -crawls on wall with his head rotating counterclockwise while singing row row row your boat through a swamp tour-

Gaara: Good enough for you?

Itachi: You video tape her cutting herself and show it to a therapist or give her a pet duck to see if she snaps its neck 2. You could test it by giving me some pot cocain or meth

Tenten: Kishimoto won't develope my character which is bullshit because Haku gets to have flashbacks and he was in 4 episodes, Fuck Haku!

Kankuro: K -slices Mr.Snwuggles into pieces- There we go

Gaara: Had a panic attack

Temari: Umm...

Gaara: Fuck no this Shukaku thing makes me cool and emo what better combination is there -continues panic attack-

Hinata: Many many more

Gaara: -blows Hinatas clothes up- Hehehehe boobies

Hinata: -blushes- Grrrr

(Also to any hopefuls this is just labeled NaruHina a final pairing hasn't been decided yet)

Hinata: Jerk

Voices in your head telling you what to do

Itachi: I heard it again where are Mr.Voice I'll kill you

I am everywhere yet I'm nowhere I can see all but am blind

Itachi: Gaaah its some type of guru!

All: Itachi what the fuck are you talking to

Itachi: The voive, the voice in my head

Lulululululululululululululululul

Itachi: Now he's doing some type of primal chant

Crow: Hey will one of you fuck-bags gimme some beer

Neji: No my beer -hides Coronas-

Crow: Gimme some fucken beer before I bite your fucken eyes off

Neji: You're a violent bird aren't you

Crow: Fuck ya!

All: Neji what the fuck are you talking to

Neji: The crow, its talking

Todays the day you will fade away

Itachi: OMG the voice said it's gonna kill me!

Neji: Sure it wasn't just quoting Seether lyrucs

Itachi: Who?

Neji: Idiot

Deidara: Suck my balls!

All: ...

Deidara: What I wanted to say something I don't like to stay silent

Dosu: For the love of god let me out this place

Chisame: -talking from inside Tobi's stomach- You idiots can't even find the way out

Eva: Aw shut up Chisame, stop bitching for one second!

Chisame: -gets thrown up- Fuck you, you balls sucker

Evangeline: Blood not balls!

Hey Itachi touch Evas ass

Itachi: Gladly! -grabs her ass-

Wow you'va got more balls then I thought

Evangeline: Itachi you're dead -bites his neck and sucks all his blood out- -spits out blood- I don't wanna get high and kill my brain

Itachi: Heh I'm drugs for vampires

-Black Hole appears in room-

All: OMG! AHHHHHHHHH! Reality is ripping apart

E/A/N Ok I was gonna post this tomorrow but I couldn't wait so screw it! Also the Negima characters will still be there next chapter for Alex to curse at Chisame so I can laugh...what the author wants to laugh is that so wrong? I hope this chapter was funny I put in alot of cursing and mature content such as strong language ejaculation and giant penises! woohoo! potty mouth birds! I just hope I don't run outta jokes soon...nah theres so many to make, I made alot of so few reviews didn't I?

Any jokes that are similar/same as other stories is merely coincidence besides I don't read much fanfiction


	11. Chinese Man is back bitches!

_**Ask Hinata 10 Bitches**_

A/N I suppose I kinda need a beta reader for 1 to help my sotry quality and grammatical errors cause now I have an irresponsive wireless keyboard that doesn't pick up on all the keys and I'm too lazy to do it myself I mean isn't enough that I typed it?

Its not over till the fat lady sings

Neji: Hopefully Ino doesn't sing then

Hinata: Welcome to another segment of the wacky Ask Hinata story Saskuretsu is back from hell and unconscious in the corner

Neji: Saskuretsu's lazy

Hinata: Duh lets move on

Evangeline: Why am I still here

Chisame: Yeah I wanna go back to the academy at least no one did drugs there

Tobi: Tobi would eat you again but he doesn't like raw food and there is no material here fit for making a fire

Itachi: And I'm too high to use fire jutsu -stabs himself with syringe and inject cocaine into his bloodstream- YES!

Deidara: Masochist

Itachi: Man-woman

-black hole reappears-

Hinata: Oh my god someone wake up Saskuretsu

Eva: Gladly -kicks Saskuretsu in the balls-

Saskuretsu: YOW! -shoots up- Who the fuck did that!

All: -point at Evangeline-

Saskuretsu: Oh anyway why'd you wake me up

Hinata: The black hole reappeared

Saskuretsu: We're all gonna die -jumps out window that suddenly appeared-

Hinata: Thanks that was of much help...

-the crow gets sucked into the black hole and ripped apart- -blood splatters on everyone-

Neji: Serves that crow right

Itachi can you hear me?

Itachi: No go away mr.voice -punches at air-

Itachi you can't escape me, I will haunt as long as you continue to torture your body with drugs

Itachi: BULLSHIT its not torture, its freedom!

...yeah sure

Naruto: Itachi's schitzophrenic

Itachi: No theres this voice! I swear it told me it'll go away when I stops takings drugs

Sasuke: Ok then its hallucination from being high

Itachi: CAN YOU TAKE ME HIGHER! -injecting himself- yes!

Gaara: -still looking st porn-

Saskuretsu: -kicks down door to his room- Gaara get out

Gaara: -hisses-

Saskuretsu: Sick him dragons!

-Gaara flies through wall and back into the prison-

Saskuretsu: I'm gonna need to fix that soon

All: Lets get outta here

Saskuretsu: -presses button and forcefield keeps the prisoners in- You didn't think I didn't see all possible ways you guys could get out

All: FUCK!

Gaara: Waaaaaaaaah Gaara want more porn!

Temari: Such a pervert

Saskuretsu: Ecchi is good!

Temari: No according to American decency its not

Saskuretsu: Yeah but Japanese apparently don't give a fuck about decency they invented hentai!

Neji: Are you insulting Japan

Saskuretsu: No I say fuck decency -throws trash out window-

Neji: Its people like you who give America a bad name

Saskuretsu: Its people like you who give sluts bad name

Neji: No thats Ino

Saskuretsu: Oh yeah but you do too

Tobi: Tobi can fit his finger in his urethra

Sakura: Nasty

-thousands of living plushies break out from the door to hell and attack the crew-

Hinata: Evil plushies

-black hole eats Tobi-

Tobi: Tobi will be back! -gets sucked in-

All: -get sucked in-

Saskuretsu: Holy shit, I can't type what I can't see so -jumps in black hole-

**THE END...JUST KIDDING!**

Saskuretsu: -in a weird freaky dimension where women rule the world- Where am I?

Crow: You're in mahora you dumb fuck

Saskuretsu: Stupid bird, stupid black hole I should've closed it now I'm stuck at an...all girls boarding school SWEET!

Everyone Else: -come out the otherside of the black hole-

Sasuke: Oh fuck we're still stuck in here

Hinata: Hey where'd Saskuretsu go?

Sakura: He's gone!

Hinata: Well then we're stuck here firever, first question is from Inner Cameron...it didn't end so I'm not going through the trouble of reading it

Sakura: Well then next is from

Hinata: Mahou Inu Alex

MWAHAHAHAHAHA! 

_All I have to say to Bitchisame Hussygawa is... Nothing, but. CUNTPUNT! -kicks Chisame's pussy 5 times-_

To Evangeline-sama: HI! I wish Nodoka-hime was here. She kind of looks like Hinata-hime. But if she can't be here I rather have you here. What's it like being in a world full of ninjas?

To Itachi: Wanna pair of new eyes? Then you must lick Hinata-hime and Evangeline-sama's shoes.

To Tobi: Why did you eat Bitchisame, I feed her to Zetsu once and he vomited for months?

To Naruto: I SHOULD SELL YOU TO YAOI FANGIRLS FOR LIKING BITCHISAME! Love Hinata-hime or you and Sasgay will wake up in a yaoi convention.

DAMN YOU SASKURETSU! HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT SIN AGAINST GOD, SATAN, BUDDHA, ZEUS AND EVERY OTHER GOD AND MYSELF TO THIS FIC! But atleast she can be bashed on.

To Kisame (if he's there): Are Jaws' bitch?

Bitchisame is the New York of Negima.

To Gaara: -pulls out Naruto yuri manga-

To Deidara: I signed you up for America's Next Top Model. Be the best drag queen that you are.

To Temari: I signed you up for Flavor of Love, be the biggiest bi tch to win.

I guess that's it. For now. -insert lightning- MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BYE BYE WOOF!

Chisame: You're and asshole Alex-teme so go fuck yourself with wrench

Hinata: Bad bitch no insulting the fans -bitchslaps Chisame-

Evangeline: sama finally some respect, Nodoka isn't here because Hinatas not supposed to meet her twin sister yet, whats it like its like having a bunch of Kaedes altrhough some of them are loud and onnoxious coughNarutocough

Naruto: Stupid ballssucker

Evangeline: BLOOD!

Itachi: Yes I want new eyes!...lick their shoes I would like to lick their pussies but ok I'll lick their shoes

Hinata: -shivers- Rapist

Itachi: -licks their shoes- Mmmmm taste like pot

Hinata: Ok...I don't think I intended my shoes to taste like pot

Tobi: Tobi ates Chisame cause she was annoying and Tobi wanted to get rid of her

Chisame: AYou're all assholes

Naruto: AHHHHHHH! I didn't say I liked her, I said I would like to plow her, theres a difference!

Saskuretsu: -talking from scren- Eh I don't mind Chisame that much, she doesn't appear in many episodes so her presence goes relatively unknown exept 1 episode that centered around her

Kisame: Am I jaws' bitch? No jaws is my mom!

Saskuretsu: Why yes I know New York is quite annoying as a city, thinking their better than every other city!

Hinata: I think he means that chick from flavor of love

Saskuretsu: hwha? what anime is that?

Hinata: I'm in an anime I don't watch them

Hinata: Hey how'd you get your face on the screen anyway Saskuretsu

Saskuretsu: Satellite hacking

Gaara: YURI MANGA OOOOHHHH Its sexy jutsu Naruto with Hinata awesome!

Naruto: ...not awesome you're masturbating to me!

Gaara: Yeah but you're a chick in this case

Temari: No porn for Gaara -takes it- Bad boy you can have porn when you're 13

Gaara: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Deidara: I'm not a drag-queen I'm a drag-king

Itachi: So you're a girl that dresses up as a guy?

Tobi: Tobi thinks thats weird

Itachi: So do you like lick your own...

Deidara: Sometimes

Itachi: I thought you were a dude

Deidara: Nope, Saskuretsu turned me into a girl at the beginning of the story to laugh at me

Itachi: Haha!

Don't laugh Itachi, you do drugs which are worse

Itachi: Ohhhh you must my conscious

Kind of...

3 hours later

Saskuretsu: -comes out of door from hell- You would never believe what I've just gone through I was hanged for 9 accounts of rape then died and went to hell and fought a whole bunch of demons and found the door out.

Sakura: How'd you fight the demons

Saskuretsu: I don't remember, it could because I'm an idiot or I have a hole in the back of my head

Hinata: Both now lets move on

Saskuretsu: -walks back into his room-

Evangeline: 9accounts of rape in...3 hours?

Saskuretsu: You can rape 9 at one time ya know

Chisame: Sicko

Saskuretsu: Dragons!

Chisame: I'll be good!

Itachi: Holy crap!

Sakura: What could it possibly be Itachi

Itachi: Theres a giant spider! -points at a giant black widow-

Saskuretsu: SPIDEE WHERE!?!?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! -hides under desk in room-

Itachi: You're afraid of spiders

Saskuretsu: Very!

Itachi: Pussy, their just stupid bugs

Saskuretsu: Arachnids not bugs, besides that sipder looks like its gonna pounce on you

Giant SPider: -jumps on itachi and bites his neck

Itachi: Ha that stupid spider'll just get high

Giant Spider: -dazed- Wooooaaaaa dude I can like talk

Itachi: Cool, I got a pet talking spider

Giant Spider: Who said I wanted to be your pet, hey look I got a pet drug addict -puts a collar on Itachi-

Itachi: Cool I mean WOLF! or better yet MEOW!

Hinata: Anyways next question is from Nic81393

_Well, if yoiu guys are still around by the time these new messages come..._

Sakura: You got the first part right, but the 93 is actually the last EXP I need for one of my characetrs to get to level 100 in a video game. Anyway, do you want this virtual reality hemet that will show Sasuke as your boufriend and eventual husband? I figured I'd be nice for once. (Hands it to her.)  
Naruto: He is. And don't tell Sakura but thats a virtual reality helmet that shows you as her boyfriend/eventual husband, killing Sasuke. Plus she can't take it off until the end of the chapter.  
Hinata: I dare you to kiss Itachi infront of Naruto!  
Itachi: Heres some rope. (Hands Itachi rope) tie it around your neck and pull hard. It is much better than what you've been doing.  
Tobi: (Hands him a kunai) Good boys stick kunai in themselves and make sure it goes all the way through.  
Sasuke: Did you know I have the Mangekyo Sharingan too? So, what would you do to make me not Tsukuyomi you?  
Tenten: If you had to make up your own past, what would it be?  
Lee: Why don't you give your friend Tenten your past? It would be the youthful thing to do.  
Deidara: I dare you to never say Yeah as a catchphrase ever again. But if you wanna do it to answer things, thats cool.  
Gaara: I dare you to tell the Shukaku you want to be its friend.

Sakura: Eh close enough, thanks for the helmet, what video game exactly

Saskuretsu: Chances are I've played it I have no life

Naruto: Ok...she's gonna hurt me

Sakura: Lets see if I can't reprogam this thing, Sasuke sucks...hm it isn't set on Sasuke, might as well see who it is -puts on helmet- AHHHHHH NARUTO!

Hinata: I don't wanna kiss Itachi he smells like pot, cocaine, and blood

Itachi: Ley it on me you hot bitch!

Hinata: Yuck -kisses him- Can I have a toothbrush?

Saskuretsu: For you anything -hands her a toothbrush with sleep powder on it-

Hinata: -brushes teeth and falls unconscious-

Saskuretsu: RAPE HINATA GAME! Whoever rapes her first wins, the winner well you raped Hinata thats reward enough isn't it?

All the boys: HELL YEAH!

Itachi: Ohhhh rope -pictures bondage- -ties Hinatas sleeping body up- Hehehehehe

Naruto: RAH! -tackles Itachi- No pussy for Itachi however I want some

Tobi: A kunai eh? -throws kunai at Naruto

Naruto: -gets hit in the leg-THE PAIN!

Tobi: Hahahah Tobi will win

Sasuke: Umm what would I do, I could lick your

Saskuretsu: Sasuke I'm still not sure of this reviewers gender yet, you can't finish that sentence

Tenten: My own past huh? Hmmm...I would be a little orphan girl that was found by super great lesbian kunoichis that raised me till I was 8 then they were arrested for being gay, and then I trained myself to be a great ninja like I am today

Lee: -in hell- It is hot in here I wonder where this unyouthful heat source is coming from

Satan: RAAAHHH -smashes Lee with warhammer-

Deidara: I don't yeah that much do I, yeah

Itachi: You said it again wolf!

Evangeline: Hey can us Negima characters go home now?

Saskuretsu: At the end of the chapter

Evangeline: -breaks forcefield and attacks me-

Saskuretsu: AHHHHHH!!!!!

Chisame: Everyone get him

Almost Everyone: -aatack me-

Sasuke: Heheheheh -drags Hinata into the closet-

30 minutes later

Saskuretsu: -mangled body on the ceiling-

Temari: So we can home now?

Gaara: Hey Shukaku wanna be friends

Shukaku: I want you dead!

GaaraL Thought so...

Naruto: -tries to open door-

Alarm System: WARNING WARNING WARNING ANIME CHARACTER HAS TOUCHED DOOR KNOB BACK UP SECURITY SYSTEM ACTIVATED

-Room is sealed off with sound proof steel-

Saskuretsu: -heals himself- You idiots now the only way out is going through hell and finding another door out, well anyway next review is from a new reviewer Lala o.o

_hey._

Love the story! A bit of Ooc-ness (a lot), but it's awesome and funneh!

Saskuretsu: Put Shikamaru in there right this instant! MAKE HIM WIN A CONTEST! Get him in there! ((TemaxShika Forever!))  
Sakura: You get a lot cooler in Shippuden(sp?). Make out with Itachi without warning. I want to see his reaction.  
Neji: Be nice/sweet for once. Give Tenten something nice. (Ask Hinata for something to give her)  
Tobi: Take off your mask.  
Sasuke: I don't hate you as much as others seem to... For your troubles, you get 2 pieces of pocky. Give one to the girl of your choice.  
Gaara: I like you. You're pretty cool. Shukaku's gone, anyway. I have gathered your teddy bear pieces and I'm sending him back to you all healed. Actually I'm sending it to Temari so that she can keep you from killing Shikamaru when he starts making out with her.  
Tenten: Try to talk more. I like your character, as unfairly undeveloped as you are. Brownies for you.  
Chinese man: Make another appearance.  
Hinata: Be more of a host. 1st Naruto movie for you to watch.  
Naruto: Because it's funny, say Believe it! all the time from now on. Cup of Ramen for you.  
Shikamaru: Kiss Temari in front of Gaara. Keep kissing her. And say 'troublesome' a lot, since this author has a bit of trouble with being in character. Oh, and I know that you're a well liked character, but still... DON'T LET ANYONE KILL YOU!

♥Love♥,  
Lala!

+P.S. I checked all boxes. You are on my faves and alerts.

+P.P.S. Love your work! Hilarious! Write more!

Saskuretsu: Eh Shikamaru is great because he's the character I'm most like but I don't really want him here but what the hell

Shikamaru: -flies through door from hell- How troublesome

Saskuretsu: Its Ooc because if it wasn't it'd be boring! Observe

Naruto: Believe it believe it!

Sasuke: I'm an avenger must kill Itachi

Itachi: Foolish little brother

Sakura: SQEEEEEEE SASUKE!

Hinata: -unconscious from neverviousness...and sleeping powder-

Tenten: I don't really have a specific personality

Gaara: I will kill you all, life sucks, I exist only to kill others

Temari: Gaara calm down theres no need to kill Kankuro

Kankuro: C'mon punk you ain't got the balls to kill me

Saskuretsu: Ok maybe it'd be a little funny but not nearly as funny as it is

Shikamaru: Win a contest

Saskuretsu: You win the laziness contest, darn you, you beat me!

Sakura: Oh course I look cooler in shippuden I'm much less fan-girlish...I-itachi? EWWWW! -makesout with Itachi- Taste like crotch

Itachi: Hey I'm a dog, now I lick my own balls

Sakura: -shivers-

Neji: Sweet and nice -falls over laughing- That'll be the day

Hinata: You don't have a choice

Neji: Butt fuck! -gives Tenten a piece of gold- There nice enough

Tenten: Yeah

Tobi: -takes off-

All: AHHHHHHHH! PUT IT BACK ON! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT IT BACK ON!

Tobi: Hehehehe -puts his mask back on-

Sasuke: Don't hate me as much as the others do, thank god some merciful being has bestowed upon me...kindness, -eats 1 pocky- Ok Hinata here ya go -throws it on her sleeping body-

Gaara: -sniffle- You're sending me back Mr.Snwuggles oh thank you!

Saskuretsu: ...wimp

Gaara: No Temari'll kill it again!

Tenten: Ohhh brownies -devours them- Mmmmmm

Chinese Man: Finally a fan has requested my appearance

Saskuretsu: Lol I actually forgot about him its pretty funny that my fan remembered him

Naruto: Dude what have you been doing this entire time

Chinese Man: I? Well I have been knitting the worlds LARGEST BLANKET! -points to 300 foot blanket in corner-

Hinata: -wakes up- Well we can all share it and actually get some warm sleep, I am a host just didn't talk much before

Saskuretsu: She talks more now

Hinata: Hmm a copy of Naruto the first movie, cool

Naruto: Ohh crap BELIEVE IT!

All: AWWW CRAP (Naruto: Believe It)

Shikamaru: Hmm -pulls Temari closer to him and makes out with her- I got sand in my mouth

Gaara: -going insane with unimaginable fury-

Itachi: You can't keep her all to yourself ya know

Chinese Man: Hooooyooooooo pow! -kicks steel reinforced door and it breaks open-

Saskuretsu: Wel at least we know we don't have to go to hell and back

-Another layer of steel covers door-

Chinese Man: FUCK!

Saskuretsu: Ok you better make use of that blanket -locks everyone in the prison- -sleeps in comfy bed-

E/AN Woohoo I'm updating frequently again!, Hope you liked this chapter

Disclaimer: Any offensive jokes are purely for humor and should not be taken literally, Any jokers similar to those of others stories are merely coicdence


	12. Happy Birthday to Me, I am 13!

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N Yep I'm still here, its as Ozzy Osbourne would say "I'm not going away"

Ozzy: I eat the heads of bats

Saskuretsu: I thought I locked you in the closet

Its november 28th and you all don't know what that means

Hinata: What does it mean?

Saskuretsu: Its my 13th birthday beotch, and in celebration I'm going to have a rant at the end of the chapter about everything that pisses me off!

Sakura: Wonderful

Saskuretsu: Don't make me throw you in the pit!

All: -scream uncontrollably-

Saskuretsu: I is a legal member of the site!

Sasuke: Now in order to not be a criminal you gotts stop downloading those movies

Saskuretsu: Shhhhhhh!

Hinata: WHy haven't you updated in so long Saskuretsu

Saskuretsu: Busy...

Naruto: Sexually role-playing?

Saskuretsu: -stares blankly at him- -thinks- They know too much

Neji: Guess what I found under Saskuretsu's bed

Saskuretsu: You little fuckers better stay my shit, just cause you're in my room doesn't mean you aren't my slaves

Gaara: What'd you find

Neji: I found the bones of a human, the carcus of a martian, and a hinata doll with semen on it

Hinata: Ew to that last one

Saskuretsu: I swear its not mine!

Gaara: You stole my yuri manga didn't you!

Saskuretsu: Maybe

Gaara: -searches frantically for it-

Saskuretsu: I'll start my rant now

Neji: No one wants to hear about your problems!

Sasuke: Unless they actually care, which is highly unlikely

Sakura: Hey wasn't Lee's birthday yesterday?

Lee: Yay I'm 14!

Saskuretsu: -blows his head off with a shotgun- Man that guy doesn't die

Hinata: Lets answer the first question

_yeah question for naruto and hinata, whens the wedding /.\ but seriously here's a question for sasuke how ya gonna rebuild your clan if your gay?_

Saskuretsu: Apparently you didn't read the entire story or don't pay attention

Sasuke: Gayness is joke

Naruto: I'm not marrying Hinata

Hinata: -crushed-

Naruto: Right now anyway

Hinata: Yay!

Itachi: -waking up from pot induced nap- Whooooa where am I

Deidara: You're in a day spa

Itachi: YAY! -jumps in pool on lava- Something smells like I'm incinerating

Tobi: -in British accent- Hmm I sense deja vu

Deidara: TOBI SAID SOMETHING SMART, RUN!

Hinata: Ok next question

_TO NARUTO AND THE GIRLS IN THE ROOM: i dare you to all have sex doing everything they do in the ichi ichi paradice book and if you dont have that then get kakashi's(diedara does not count)_

to kakashi: let them have the book

to hinata: you have sex w/naruto the longest

to sakura: have a three some with tenten and temari and put temari's fan to some good use

Saskuretsu: I'll only allow the 3rd one

Sakura: Bastard

Temari: I'm bi, I don't mind so much

-akward silence-

Gaara: I didn't know that

Tenten: Lets get this over with

1 hour of hot lesbian sex later.

Sakura: Ew

Tenten: Ew

Temari: Awesome

Hinata: Ok next question

_Sakura: I think it was one of my old Pokemon games. Not to sure which one though. Hey, you're suppose to answer questions, not the readers! Now, I dare you to say "Yeah" as a catchphrase instead of Deidara forever. Oh, and sorry, that helmet was meant for Hinata. Heres the one I meant to give you. (Hands Sakura a virtual reality helmet that shows Lee as her boyfriend/future husband.)  
Deidara: I dare you to say Naruto's japanese catchphrase now as your catchphrase forever.  
Sasuke: For what you were starting to say, I must say: TSUKUYOMI! (Sends Sasuke into the Tsukuyomi world where his fan-girls will attack for him.)  
Naruto: Have you ever thought of using the Rasengan on the prison?  
Hinata: Heres a sword, in case anyone goes too insane. (Hands her the sword.)  
Tenten: Out of everyone in the room, whose past would you rather have?  
Gaara: I dare you to destroy Ino again.  
Tobi: I dare you to destroy yourself.  
Kankuro: I heard you scream like a little baby, is this true?  
Temari: Because Kankuro will say no, is it true?  
Itachi: I dare you to eat this cake! And noone else can have it. (Hands Itachi a cake that will destroy him after one bite.)_

Sakura: Thats so interesting

Sasuke: You asked

Hinata: I don't like hlemets- throws itin lava with Itachi-

Itachi: Ohhh whats this -puts it on- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE HORROR!

Deidara: We don't do catchphrases around here, yeah

Sasuke: AHHH! THE PAIN AND RAPE!

Naruto: I think I tried that already

**FLASHBACK!**

Naruto: I'm fucking tired of this place, I hate you people, get me out of here! -charges up rasengan and hits wall- -rasengan bounces off and hits him in the head- My brains on the floor, and its tiny

Sakura: No suprise there

**END FLASHBACK awwww...**

Saskuretsu: I love flashbacks, in fact heres a flashback of how I got Lee here

**FLASHBACK!**

Lee: Ohh free brain! -walks into teleportation device- -in strange black vortex that leads to room-

**END FLASHBACK awwww...**

Saskuretsu: I thought it would kill him...

Sakura: What are you going to do with us once the stories over

Saskuretsu: Lets see, kill all those who have been defiant of me

Sasuke: Thats all but Hinata

Neji: I die first I presume

Saskuretsu: And slowest

Naruto: WHats going to happen to my series

Saskuretsu: They hire new ninja and rename the show Hinata, duh

Hinata: Good enough for me -swings sword- Hehehe

Tenten: I'd rahter have Sakura's past, no tragedy, no emoness, exerpt I wouldn't be a useless whore

Sakura: HEY!

Gaara: Destroy blonde whore again, can I please Saskuretsu

Saskuretsu: Sure -summons Ino-

Ino: I am supieror to all!

Gaara: -crushes her- Mwhahahahahahaha -gets shukaku look in his eyes-

Saskuretsu: I didn't count on that

GaaraL -transforms into shukaku and busts out of room-

Saskuretsu: Fuck, looks like I'm going racoon hunting -jumps through hole-

Neji: Lets escape!

All: -run out-

Sasuke: -sees endless grassland and trees- Where are we

Saskuretsu: Cousins house, he lives in southern mississippi, unlike where I live, its the country

Shukaku Gaara: RAAAAH! -eating a tree-

Saskuretsu: Holy shit! -fires shotgun shells at Gaara-

Hinata: Aren't those illegal

Saskuretsu: Tch theres no police here

Sasuke: You don't care who you insult, you're worse than south park

Fat Man in rocking chair on his porch: Howdy, welcome to the south

Saskuretsu: Yep, talk about a porch monkey. The whole point of me writing this is to make racist jokes, flaming, and cheap shots, duh!

Tobi: I can not destroy myself, for I am meant to live for so much more

Temari: Kankuro scream like a little bitch

Gaara: Yep and he fucks puppets, like Sasori

Itachi: -unable to eat cake due to melting in lava- I lost my legs, I feel like a vietnam veteran!

Saskuretsu: Even I laughed at that joke

Hinata: Now that we're done degrading those who were amputated for their country lets go to the next question

_to hinata: i will give u druged ramen an ichi ichi paradice book and useage of my cloest for three hours. and it is itachi poof.(the ramen)  
to naruto:let hinata rape u  
to garra: i will give a yuri manga that no one can thouch but u  
to every one eles: a curse that who ever you look at u have to rape them no guy on guy but yes girl on girl no one can rape hinata or naruto or garra not a curse to hinata naruto or garra_

Saskuretsu: Ya know since this contains nothing but rape and drugs, like a black in highschool, I'm gonna skip it.

Neji: Whoa you went to far there

Saskuretsu: Shut up and deal with the truth

Itachi: -pretending to be a veteran- I'm homeless, I lost my legs in Nam and my wife left me for my son

Deidara: Tragic

Tobi: Indeed

Hinata: So next question, oh god its Mahou Inu Alex

Saskuretsu: I actually translated that, Magical Dog Alex

Sasuke: Riveting

_To Saskuretsu: Do you know why the Grim Reaper is Jamaician? ... kuri to resu._

To Itachi: -pulls out red eyes- Here's your new pair of eyes. Now punk someone without sounding like a retard.

To Deiarrhea: Do you have diarrhea?

To Hinata-hime: Can you give Naruto a lap dance? And a happy ending.

To Kisame: your a Jaws rip off.

To Sasori: Are you into necrophelia? If so your sick and twisted.

To Sasuke: How does it feel being a gay chicken?

That's all for now.

BYE BYE WOOF!

Saskuretsu: Oh great he's jamaican, now their hair isn't the only thing that kills me

Itachi: -jumps out lava, balls got burnt off- EYES! -unscrews light bulbs in eye sockets and shoves eyes in- YES! I can see better!

Deidara: Not just that but sonic diahrrea, and it got on Sasuke, apparantly thats why he's such a crappy character

Tobi: -dressed as farmer- Thats corny

Sakura: You've gone from racist to prop comic

Hinata: A lap dance eh? Hell no, notice you asked you didn't dare

Kisame: I am a jaws rip off, listen to my theme music...of course jaws is my father

Sasori: -message machine- We're sorry Sasori is not present in this story please hang up and go to another story

Saskuretsu: Thats what I try to tell em' but I wanna stay widely liked

Sasuke: I may be a chicken but I'm not gay, I'm emo, happy and emo are polar opposites!

Sakura: Bad dog -pulls out pepper spray and sprays alex-

Saskuretsu: Hey bad Sakura, he's a dog, you don't wanna be Michael Vick do you?

Hinata: Next question, and last

_Haha, awesome!_

Anyway, yeah... I read most of your fic at once so that's why I remembered him.

in character is nice, but you're right. Your total Ooc-ness separates you from the rest of the fics out there.  
  
_HI EVERYBODY!  
(say hi! It's rude not to say hi back.)  
Hinata: I'm an awesome artist and I drew you but the pose was a bit confusing cuz you were all beat up and sitting down with your legs to the sides with your knees bent and using your hands to support yourself, but you still looked awesome. I'm sending it to you. I wish the author could see it, but my scanners are both evil.  
Naruto: Hinata luffles you and is going to kiss you unawares in three seconds. dattebayo.  
Hinata: You heard me. Kiss Naruto in 3 seconds. Just cuz. XD  
Gaara: Muahahahaha. Enjoying my last post? Haha!  
Shikamaru: I luffles you. hmm... taunt Gaara about your ability to kiss Temari without his interference. ♥Hope you don't die!♥  
Temari: Do you love Shika as much as I do? share some ramune with him.(btw, I found out that ramune is the Japanese attempt at saying lemonade! lol!)  
Neji: Hmm... you're not very nice... actually you're probably the most in character person here... have fun. (I enclosed a condum in the elvelope for you!) ;D  
Sasuke: Hey. Make Sakura fall in love with you again. I love doing things on my whim.  
Itachi: Shika can so keep Tema to himself! ...right, Saskuretsu...?  
Saskuretsu: Awesomeness! I love it. I can't help it if I'm a hopeless fangirl for ShikaTema and NejiTenten.  
Oh, and how old did you say you were?_

Hinata: Sounds like how I was after the fight with Neji -glances at picture- Cool

Naruto: Da fuck does luffles mean, sounds like a brand of cereal, she's gonna give me cereal awesome

**Advertisement**

Announcer: Try new Luffles they're lovably delicous and addictive with 30 pounds of caffine and Hinata cum!

**We now return from our commercial break**

Saskuretsu: Hehe I got sponsors

**New Advertisement**

Announcer: Try raping new Hinata plushies, theirrapably soft and sexually realistic

Pedofile: Ohh the newest version is out -takes it in back- -actually Hinata's father- Now where's the Hanabi plushies

**No More Commercials**

Saskuretsu: -holding plushie- Awww so rapably soft -tosses it aside- But I got the real thing

Gaara: I don't mind ShikaXTema too much (but I prefer GaaXTema)

Shikamaru: Oh no now she's giving luffles brand cereal, are you trying to kill me woman, and Gaara doesn't mind much but here it goes

Gaara: Oh god

Shikamaru: Yo sista is my beotch, bitch

Gaara: -still in shukaku form- Grrrrr

Saskuretsu: Racoons on hostile mode! -fires at Gaara-

Temari: I probably don't

Neji: I'm not very nice because I'm a prep punk son a bitch

Hinata: Nicely said rapist

Neji: You swore you'd never speak of that

Hinata: Hanabi's only 7!

Neji: Hm a condom -glances at Hinata- Hehehe

Sasuke: I don't wanna make her fall in love with me again! Please no more fan-girls!

Itachi: Not my fault if I want every girl in this room to blow me until I'm out of testosterome

Deidara: Then you'll only have estrogen

Itachi: Noooooo I don't wanna be fruity

Saskuretsu: Ah thanks I have a fan!, and I think my birthday celebration chapter with the title, 13th birthday speaks for itself

_Rant_

_I really hate people up north who think the south is just a country grassland with retarded cousin marrying fuckers. Of course that is the case with Alabama, but not most southern states. Plus its cheaper to live down here than up north, whose complaining. I hate anti-american people. What makes you think the US sucks? They say the American stereotype is arrogance, racism and a superiority complex. Sure we do have a superiority complex because we rock but all americans aren't arrogant, northerners are. Note: I only make fun of northerners because they look down on me, quite literally. . I hate Michael Vick, who kills dogs for entertainment and money, you sick fuck! Whats the difference between killing dogs and killing humans? WHat big of a transition is it from killing animal to killing humans? Michael Vick could've killed you. I especially hate OJ Simpson supporters, the man stabbed people, thats illegal, you're supposed to go to jail, what hall of fame running backs don't count as citizens now? He deserves to rot in prison or die! I think thats all...for now, _

E/A/N Happy birthday to me! Wish me good presents and maybe mail me some money so I can pay for my nuclear monkeys!


	13. So sayeth the great prophet Saskuretsu

_**Ask Hinata**_

A/N Yes, I'm still not dead(unfortunately for you) So you can listen to me complain about things I think suck

ANIVERSARY CHAPTER YAY!

Saskuretsu: I got all kinds of stuff for my birthday and Christmas, and thats why I haven't updated in a while -holds Xbox 360- Precious!

Neji: Eh screw it I don't need a condom -tosses it away-

Hanabi: -falls through a dimension rift- Holy shit where the fuck am i?

Hinata: You shouldn't be using such naughty language!

Hanabi: Fuck off you stupid bitch

All: -gasp!-

Sakura: She insulted Hinata! She's doomed

Saskuretsu: Must kill

Neji: Aww can I keep her...as a sex slave

Gaara: dude...she's 7

Neji: So?

Gaara: You can't let him...

Saskuretsu: I'll allow it

Gaara: No fucking way

Saskuretsu: What? like I care about that Hinata insulting whore! Also I have a big announcement!

Sasuke: You're pregnant!

Saskuretsu: I'm a boy you retard!

Hinata: Whats the announcement

Saskuretsu: Ahem at December 6 I took the ACT yes the AC fucking T and scored a 20

Naruto: Bullshit

Saskuretsu: -holds up test scores-

Sasuke: Who cares?

Saskuretsu: Me...

Sakura: Fuck you

Saskuretsu: Yes I am

Hinata: ...aside from that, first question

_To Sakura: ... -smirks- I was planning on being nice to you. But never mess with a bipolar dog. -whacks Sakura with a mace-_

To Hinata: ...I DARE YOU TO GIVE NARUTO A LAP DANCE! Then you can get a cookie.

To Deidora the Explorer: Explore any jungles lately?

To Itachi: You look like a grandma. Did you ever whack anyone with your purse?

To Saskuretsu: How strange, my birthday was a few days before your's.

To Tobi: ...Chop off Deidora's hand off with a lightsaber please. I DARE YOU! I double dog dare you.

To Neji: What's with the manskirt?

... Drawing a blank. GLAD TO SEE YOUR STILL AROUND!

BYE BYE WOOF!

Saskuretsu: Guess how I've kept myself occupied?

Hinata: How?

Saskuretsu: I looked at his list of favorite animes and watched them...Jesus dude...lots of fucking anime

Sakura: I knew he was a mental patient

Hinata: -dances on Naruto's lap- There now I'm getting a restraining order

Naruto: Against?

Hinata: Everyone

Saskuretsu: I think Hinata is PMSing

Hinata: Fuck off!

Deidara: Yep I just slayed the mighy Incan god of the Amazon

Saskuretsu: The Inca empire was located on western south America retard

Deidara: Well their fucking gods were in the east now leave me alone you douchebag

Itachi: Once when I was flying north for the winter this plane pilot tried to run me over so I went inside the plane and crashed it into the twin towers, it was back on September 11, 2001

Hinata: Saskuretsu's thats going to far!

Saskuretsu: Hahaha I know

Itachi: Then I sent the letter to Bush that said "From Saddam" and it said "Wese gots weapones of mask destroiction" I was high that day so my spelling was off but he misinterpreted me I meant to say "We got techinques of world peace"

Saskuretsu: At least my oil is cheap

Gaara: Thats a harsh way of thinking of the war

Saskuretsu: Thats coming from the guy who kill someone cause they looked at you wrong

Gaara: They were laughing at me I know it!

Saskuretsu: Anyway, November is the best month for birthdays, it not too far or too close to Christmas...also my chess team won 1st place -holds up 3 foot trophy- ...heavy

Sakura: ...nerd!

Tobi: -pulls out lightsaber- -in a Obi-Wan voice- The force is strong with me -tries chop off Deidara's hands- ...he ain't gots no hands

Neji: Its not a manskirt...is it?

Hanabi: Fag

Neji: Quiet sex slave

Hinata: Next question...is from Nic81393

_Naruto and Gaara: Heres a special gift for you. The gift of Kyuubi Burst Mode (Naruto) and Shukaku Burst Mode (Gaara). Try 'em out. (Digimon Savers reference)  
Tobi: NO AND THEN! (Dude, where's my car reference)  
Sasuke: How do you like being set up with people from other animes?_

Naruto and Gaara: We don't like digimon

Saskuretsu: Neither do I

Tobi: Tobi loves that movie...what's a car?

Sasuke: I don't care, I don't like it...but really...what can I do about it? The writers hold the power...we're just useless puppets...

Naruto: Pausing alot and depressed...emo period

Hinata: Next question...

_yo bitcs to saskuretsu:i need you to take of some of my fan fic charaters naruko(female naruto who attempt to rape zekk any time she has the chance)zekk(son of oro only has the white skin and black hair has a big buster blade on his back like clouds he hates oro and protect him from naruko plz) sasuke:you know that name mean in spanish "you know what"who knew sakura: i dare you too kiss ino(bring back ino for this part) come one lets face ino kissing sakura very sexy man neji: i dare you to dance to danceing queen dei:in the english manga you are now hm not un so say hm now damit i dare you for the hole entire fics all them hinata:you are now slave of jabba the hut why did i sold you becuose i made deal jabba give you to him so he cuold free han solo and chewie tenten and temari:make lesbo sex whith each other tobi: no way you cuold be madara,madara shuold have died by now reaveal that your obito with a physco logical problem lee: i dare you to go to am i smarter then a fith grader_

Saskuretsu: I don't really want them, besides I'd just mock them like I do with everyone else...exept Hinata...so unless you want that tell me in the next review

Sasuke: I didn't know my name had a meaning in Spainish...

Saskuretsu: Any yuri is hot dude...also could you space out the review its a bit hard to read

Ino: How did I? Oh well anything's better than hell

Sakura: No way I am not kissing her

Saskuretsu: Ok then die

Sakura: ...thank you!

Saskuretsu: Ok starve to death and die...

Sakura: Ok that would hurt -kisses Ino-

Neji: Who is the dancing queen?

Saskuretsu: I don't know, I don't watch any TV thats not anime unless its on G4 or cartoons like Family Guy

Deidara: NOOOOO! hm I hate that word hm It's so annoying hm I can't stand it hm

Naruto: Make him stop!

Konan: -drops in out of nowhere- Deidara shut up

Sasuke: Holy shit who is that?

Saskuretsu: The unnamed member...who has recently been named...poorly

Itachi: Yeah what kind of name is Konan for a girl?

Konan: Itachi you're forgetting, I'm your dealer

Tobi: You're also the whore of the akatsuki

Konan: Not much left of the akatsuki anymore

Naruto: You must be so disappointed

Saskuretsu: Hm...-gives jabba the hut Ino instead of Hinata, then Jabba shoots himself out of agony of being near Ino- There now Han Solo and Chewbacca are free, although Chewie was never captured in the movie...I think

Neji: You're using a lot of ellipises in this chapter...

Sasuke: You're not helping to change that factor, are you?

Tobi: Tobi is Obito with a psycho problem, I said but that doesn't mean its true

Itachi: Tobi you're getting smart do I need to knock you stupid again

Tobi: ...yes

Itachi: K -hits him in the head with a billboard-

Sakura: Where'd you get that?

Itachi: Deidara's ass

Konan: Only you would go there

Itachi: If I were gay I wouldn't do drugs cause gays are too pekokami

Lee: -is a rotting corpse in the corner-

Saskuretsu: Next time he comes alive I'll make him go but he should stay dead...for now

Hinata: Next question is from

_Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while, but I've been really busy. I'm a freshman and I'm in this school program called Academic Decathlon. It required all my time and energy. Anyway, Happy Birthday! Thirteen, huh? I figured you were at least 14. Guess you're fairly mature and intellectual for your age, eh? Anyway, yeah! I learned how to type correctly, and I'm super happy about it. Unfortunately for the people of Texas, I'm going to have to get my driver's lisence soon. There is going to be megadeath. That's a word, btw. Cool, huh? My favorite word is boondoggle. Isn't that awesome? It means to look like you're doing something while in actuality, you're procrastinating._

Oh yeah, go read my fic! It's my first to post.

Saskuretsu: Yeah Academic decathlon, I am not doing that if I get selected when I go to highschool

Shikamaru: Why?

Saskuretsu: Cause I'm like you, really smart but really lazy

Sakura: Isn't everyone on this site?

Saskuretsu: Lazy yes, smart no

Saskuretsu: My favorite word is zarf, a decorative coffee cup without a handle

Naruto: I'm going to barf in my zarf

Saskuretsu: I love to boondoggle during class, and I am very intellectual and mature

Hinata: And the second part of her question...which is exetremely long and we're just using it to occupy space

_Rawr. It wouldn't let me post again for chapters I've already reviewed, so chapter 9 it is._

No one said hi back! That's terrible! Anyway, good job avoiding questions... '  
Yeah, Hinata was supposed to kiss Naruto, but I know you'd find a way to undermine that, too. -sigh-

Oh, and I thought you had more chapters, so that's why I said that I hadn't reviewed in a while. But yeah, I finally have my own fanfic.

The pairings I officially support:  
NejiTen  
ShikaTema (GaaraTema is disgusting! Incest!)  
NaruHina  
SasuSaku (more popular than SasuNaru now!)

triangles and pairs I semi support:  
GaaraLee (I hate yaoi, but this pair is hilarious)  
NaruHinaKiba  
HinaKiba  
InoChouji  
KakashiAnko  
NaruSakuSasu

pairs I don't support:  
INOSHIKA!  
TenLee  
SasuNaru  
Or any other yaoi other than GaaLee  
No incest, namely NejiHina and GaaraTemari

You can actually show people this starting the next line.

Hello, everyone! Say hello back. It won't hurt you. -minus Itachi cuz he's crazy, high, and hillucinating. (sp?)  
Read my fanfic! It's really good! I love it, anyway.  
Neji: That condum was for use on Tenten, not rape on Hinata.  
Tenten: Slap Neji good and hard.  
Naruto: Luffles means love, it is not a name of cereal.  
Shikamaru: Shame on you. You knew it meant love, genious.  
Saskuretsu: It's 2:27am. I'm going to pass out cuz I've been at Academic Decathlon all day and now I'm tired. Just thought you should know zzz

Neji: You misspelled condom, but why should I use it on Tenten, she's my bitch I don't care if I get her pregnant but Hinata might cause some problems

Hinata: I'll kill you if you lay a finger on me

Neji: Yeah right

Hinata: I'll get Saskuretsu and Alex to kill you

Neji: ...a fate worse than death!

Tenten: I am not your bitch -slaps Neji so hard the skin on his face gets ripped off and flies into Itachi's crack pipe-

Itachi: -burns skin- Ashes can get you high too

Saskuretsu: Bullshit

Itachi: Now'a'days anything can get you high with all the fucken chemicals in everything

Naruto: Maybe so but Luffles is a good brand name of cereal -takes a bite-

HinataL I hate to ask but how is it made of 30 of my cum if I've never

Saskuretsu: Clone factory

Shikamaru: I know but wouldn't I work around it if it were convient enough?

Saskuretsu: Good luck with that...

Hinata: Is that it?

Saskuretsu: What do you mean?

Hinata: Well we just answered questions and moved on...don't you think we should have a plot

Saskuretsu: Good idea, next chapter features a plot!!!

E/A/N_ I wrote the some of it in January and some in March so if it seems a little...weird don't blame me...anyway I'll think of plot to make things more interesting...anybody got any suggestions cause my brain is so overworked I can't really think of anything! God school is hard this year!!!_


	14. To Spit or to Swallow thats the question

Ask Hinata...I forget what chapter is this? I think its 13, not sure, eh fuck it lets say its 13, wait isn't this part supposed to be bold and italicized?

A/N Ok so no plot but really who needs a plot when you've got anime characters hogtied to your bed? Oh wait wrong fantasy, anyway onto the chapter

Saskuretsu: Well we're back sorry I haven't updated in so long, but really I forgot about this website so one day when I FINALLY got bored of rockband(beating the game on expert on drums and guitar'll do that to you) I popped in NCAA 08 into my 360 and got bored of that in 8 hours, so I decided to taste the inside of my laptop out of boredom and the delicios taste reminded me of

Itachi: You're insane

Saskuretsu: And you're a cronic masturbator

Itachi: You're one to talk, you have hentai saved on your flashdrive for when you don't have internet!

Saskuretsu: Shhhhhhhh you're disturbing my oil reserves...anyway I was reading back on the last chapter, its pretty weird when you don't even remember typing half the chapter isn't it?

Itachi: Thats cause I lent you some of my PCP

Saskuretsu: Oh yeah

Neji: Are you idiots done having your conversation, other people want lines

Tenten: I don't, if he forgets about me, maybe he'll send me home like Asuma

Temari: Same here

Saskuretsu: I'd rather puke up hotdogs and eat them again than let characters go

Naruto: I do that with ice cream

Saskuretsu: Thats cause you have no friends, now I'm going to leave you asstards to fight among yourselves for a bit -goes into his room and plays 360- Bullshit a human being can't jump that high for an interception!

Sasuke: Nerd!

Sakura; Star Wars Geek

Deidara: Ugly pink-haired fan-girl

Saskuretsu: I don't Sakura bashing, I don't like Sakura but I don't feel that people should pick on her for her short-comings

Tobi: Than why do you hate Ino who is similar to Sakura?

Saskuretsu: Stop exposing my hippocracy! Itachi knock him harder this time!

Itachi: -hits Tobi with chees grater- Mmmmmmm cheese

Naruto: Back to the insulting, you're one to talk you transvestite man-whore!

Hinata: Finally my first line, hi everybody, while they're argueing, lets skip to our first review

_Hey. If you couldn't tell, you weren't supposed to post most of that... In any case. You don't get selected for Academic Decathlon, you take the 'class' and you compete for the opportunity to be in it. I'm like the only freshman ever to get onto the team and we made 11th in the state(of Texas)._

_Oh, yeah! I'm turning 15 in two days. Yeah, I have to tell everyone my birthday before or else they won't beleive me since it's on April Fools Day._

_I also think you ought to go to asking questions instead of forcing characters to do things._

_Hinata: If Lee was the last man on Earth and you were the last woman on earth, would you screw him for the sake of reproduction or otherwise?_

_Neji: If you could only screw one woman for the rest of your life, who would it be out of the following:_

_Hinata_

_Hinabi_

_Tenten_

_Sakura_

_Ino_

_Questions like those are good._

Saskuretsu: Oh I know, I just wanted to be the lazy bastard I am

Hinata: No, Lee has no penis...anymore

Neji: Hellen Keller

Naruto: Thats not an option dumbass

Neji: It is now!

Saskuretsu: But...if I don't force characters to do things, how will I be happy? I only write this for fun

_When the hell was the last time I reviewed this story?! _

_Naruto: Grab Lees corpse and forcibly put Lee's butt on Deidara's head, hang him in to make him into a pinata. throws bats Hit him with those._

_Konan: Give everybody a whole bunch of freaking paper cuts. _

_Neji: Sex slaving is wrong torture is in your future, or prison. She is underage. Hanabi hang Neji from his nose with hooks._

_Why must we torture Lee?_

_Gaara: How you been, homes?_

_Gives enough Tequila for everybody, PARTY!_

_releases rabbid pitbulls Have fun._

_Tobi: Spills ticks on him How does those ticks feel?_

_Hinata: Watch TV. The show that you will be watching for the rest of the chapter is... is... is the Tellitubbies._

_Is Anko still around here?_

Saskuretsu: No idea, I'm bad at keeping track of time, rough estimate...ummm 4 months? Also astericks look funny in italics look at the funny looking astericks

Itachi: Bad Saskuretsu thats my bong pipe

Naruto: I would but if I touch Lee's corpse, I might catch ciphalis

Konan: Gladly -slices everyonr with her almighty paper powers-(seriously what the hell was Kishimoto thinking all you need to do is wet her!)

Neji: Yeah but we live in like the year...what years is it anyway we have fucking tvs but no guns? I mean guns were invented in thr 13th century but tvs were incented in the 20th...

Saskuretsu: Neji you're not supposed to ask yourself this question, anyway, of course 8 is too young but sex-slaving is awesome!

Itachi: I would say, 'He only said that cause he's high' But, I'm pretty sure he'd say the same thing if he weren't

Saskuretsu: We torture Lee because bubbly things make me unhappy...exept for Hinata

Itachi: Cause she has a hot rack

Saskuretsu: Exactly

Gaara: Racoonish

Hinata: We're underaged we can't drink

Saskuretsu: I don't like Tequila, cause I'm a Nazi!

Tobi: They's feel like caramel being poured onto searing hot tar which is being poured into a can so I can drink it

Hinata: Aww I used to love that show when I was little...-watches 1 minute of it- Then again, I wasn't as smart back then\

Saskuretsu: Anko...who?

Sakura; You know the only person who gets less lines than Tenten

Saskuretsu: Wow no wonder I don't remember her, I dunno, I think she escaped during the giant racoon incident

Gaara: -coughs up a chicken- Damn you racoon!

Chicken: Bock bock bogack! -coughs up a hamster-

Hamster: -coughs up a bird-

Bird: -takes out a death ray and fires at Tobi-

Tobi: Ahhhh the CIA is after Tobi again -running away from the bird-

Gaara: -eats bird- ...what? I was hungry

Hinata: Oooook, next question

_Actually, I'm pretty impressed so far with your stories! (A tip for regular stories is: The only thing is that you should do for paragraphs is make a new one when you're changing dialogue to another person. And descriptions. You're really good at script writing, it's just the punctuation. Awesome!)_

_Hinata: Hiya! Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to strip or anything! (I can't believe some of the reviews here actually involve eroticness that level T fics shouldn't have...) Anyway, since plenty of reviewers had asked you to kiss Naruto, I won't ask. But I'd like to know... Even after seeing Naruto fart in Kiba's face, why do you like him?_

_Naruto: (pats head) So... What do you have to say for people who make you into the SaiNaru pairing? And what do you plan to do in order to protest?_

_Itachi: I'm really surprised you're still alive after countless times of crack... Here's some cocaine! XD_

_Shikamaru: ...Too troublesome! You're too troublesome! (whacks head)_

_Anko: You are one of my most favorite kunoichi! So I dare you to kiss Itachi, scream FANGIRL in his ear, and push him off into Blue's Clues and let him wreck havoc there. The kiss can be brief. (blushes... I'm a Itanko fangirl...)_

_Sakura: Yay! You rock in shippuden! (raises hands up and cheers) But gee... There's not really much for you to be paired up with... Besides the insane people... I dunno, out of everyone thus far, who would you go out with? You can include those who died in the list, okay?_

_Kakuzu (if he's there): You are now being sent into a world where the only currency is two dollars... And you only have one. You are unqualified for a job. What do you do now?_

_Any Akatsuki member that's present: Sing It's OK 2 B Gay! (And they have to dance. It's a must.)_

_Sasuke: Here's this How to be emo DVD from Nigahiga in Youtube. Learn it and live it._

_Tobi: Here's a How to be Gangster DVD for you! Learn it and live it._

_Neji: Tsunade-baa-chan hairstyle no jutsu! (poof) Whoa... Tsunade's hairstyle suits you..._

_Well, that's it for now! I look forward to more!_

Hinata: I don't know, you'd have to ask the creator of the series

Itachi: Oh I know that guy, I deal for him

Naruto: SaiXNaru, I had no idea that existed, but in protest, I'm boycotting the internet!

Itachi: Oh I ODd at least 6 times -snorts crack-

Sasuke: You'd be dead

Deidara: No Itachi is immune to death

Shikamaru: Ow, I'd fight back, but it'd be so pointless

Anko: What I actually get lines, thank you! -kisses Itachi and screams fangirl in his ears-

Itachi: -while in the land of blues clues- The fangirls are coming quick hide!

The Dog Looking Blue Entity Thing: -swallows Itachi whole-

Sakura; Haku

Sasuke: Lesbian

Sakura; He is not a girl!

Naruto: You're right just a guy who wants to be one

Itachi: No way!

Deidara: I don't mind

Tobi: What does gay mean

Konan: -escaped-

Saskuretsu: Do it!

-itachi, deidara, and Tobi sing and dance its Ok to be gay-

Sasuke: This vid is weak, nothing hardcore enough for me

Tobi: -watches it- Aw yeah Tobi be a gangster now

Saskuretsu: How can you talk gangster, if I resent it and don't know how?

Tobi: Cause Tobi be da man

Neji: Hm suits me well

Hanabi: Especially your gay side

Neji: Quiet you!

Saskuretsu: Well thats it for the reviews...damn it I need 400 more words to fill my 2000 word quota...its time for a commercial

**Have you ever been depressed about the size of your tiny penis? Try Saskuretsu's patented Dick Enlarger****TM**** you will be 8 inches larger withing 12 minutes**

**Warning: This product only works if you take one pill every 8 hours, each pill is priced at 10 pounds, making a pack of 20 only 200pounds(450) Only legal in britain and slovenia**

Saskuretsu: Hm that commercial wasn't very funny, oh well it takes up space, next one

**Do you hate your child? Do you wish it would just curl up a die? Now it will with new Saskuretsu's How to be a Hermit****TM****. With this your child will stay locked up inside his or her room never bothering you, only coming out for food and to go to school.**

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Itachi: You're a lolicon?

Saskuretsu: What can I say girls my own age are supposed to turn me on right? Next commercial...hmm how about a videogame advetisement

**Buy the awesome new rythm game thats sweeping the nation, Violin Hero! Hear from on of our satified customers**

**Customer: This game kill my family!**

**The game comes with a violin controller with 3 buttons and over 2 amazing orchestra tracks! So buy it now before our company goes out of business for making this piece of shit!**

Saskuretsu: I wonder if thats enough, ok, it is good

E/A/N Well thats chapter 13 for you...hope it doesn't suck too bad. I hope to get a little bit more reviews this time, thinking of space-occupying commercials is too much brain-work for the summer!


	15. She Bangs the Drummer

_**Ask Hinata 14**_

If you can find a more offensive story, you're in mexico

A/N Usually I write when I'm falling asleep which in when I'm most random but I'll try writing this chapter in the middle of the day

Saskuretsu: I have returned, with vengence!

Itachi: And weapons

Saskuretsu: Strawberry flavored weapons

Deidara: Strawberry flavored radioactive nuclear weapons of mass destruction

Tobi: I love Strawberries, Strawberry shortcake!

Saskuretsu: We're back for aonther sagment of sp3lling errwos, and offensive comedy

Hinata: Yay?

Neji: So are we just going to move onto question after question or are you going to make us wait while watching us fight amongst ourselves

Itachi: If I were to build a swimming pool, I would make it a lake of fire where I could fry bacon sticks on beef jerky bread

Saskuretsu: Did that answer your question?

Neji: Yeah

Gaara: -on my computer- You have alot of hentai sites bookmarked, they're even on your Safari link bar thingy

Itachi: Who the hell uses Safari?

Saskuretsu: I do, Internet Explorer sucks ass, Mozilla loads hentai sites too slow, and Safari is made by apple the only thing apple has made that sucks is the iPhone

Neji: And Safari

Saskuretsu: Y'know what, I'm not going to kill you, that would be too nice, I'm going to horrible unspeakable things to you

Itachi: Steal his purse collection?

Neji: Feed me to your chihuahuas? -sarcastic- Owww I can feel the pain in my ankles already

Itachi: Whens the last time we've eaten?

Naruto: uhhhhh a couple days ago

Itachi: I got the munchies

Saskuretsu: I found a survey that asked me my favorite brand of vacuum cleaner so I clicked hoover and it gave me a trojan

Neji: Condom?

Saskuretsu: No you idiot virus, thats mainly why internet explorer sucks, you get viruses from it

Itachi: Reminds me of the time I dug up john adams and used his bones as a protein shake

Sasuke: America hasn't been discovered yet? Has it? What the fuck time period are we in!

Secret Ninja Society: Their onto us, we must destoy those who question the time period

Saskuretsu: -knocks on reinforced steel- Hey Chinese man, try another kick

Chinese Man: Hoooooooyowaizakowozaiimasu -double kicks door and knocks it down-

Security System: WARNING WARNING WARNING CHINESE MAN HAS A GUN

Chinese Man: I have no gun

-gun drops right next to him-

Chinese: Awwww shit -shot up by defense system-

Saskuretsu: At least I can get to the kitchen now, hey wait Gaara how do you keep getting into my room from the character area

Gaara: I'm a fucken racoon, you can't get rid of me

Itachi: That also reminds of a time when I shot a racoon in the ass because it was stealing my garbage, and when I shot it, it ran around in circles with its ass dragging on the ground so I sold it to my uncle as a sex slave

Saskuretsu: Hm something just occoured to me, I've used every insult exept 1

Tobi: Is in the one that starts with an i and ends with a q

Naruto: What the hell insult starts with i and ends with q

Saskuretsu: Iraq? No I'm pretty sure I insulted the muslims, or did just in case

**Flashback to the days of Tobi's childhood**

Tobi: -a little kid walking in the streets of Istanbul-

Terrorist: All hail stalin -suicide bombs a cat shelter-

Tobi: Nooooooo my car keys!

**End Flashback**

Itachi: So Tobi is a muslim?

Tobi: Tobi is a little person

Sasuke: So you're a retarded muslim midget

Saskuretsu: Now all you need is black skin and a jew nose and you're the worst person whose ever lived

Tobi: Like Al Sharpton!

Hinata: Ok...anyway onto the first question

_Aw man this is friggin hilarious!_

_Tobi: I know that you are Madara so just take off the mask, also sending 100 crates of Kentucky Bourbon for your consumption only, I'm also sending you a Pimpmobile_

_Hinata: Just ask Naruto to go out with you, geez, how difficult could that be?_

_Sasuke: Do you hate your life? Then I'll just send you some rope, oh and I'm sending Motorhead over to you._

_Gaara: Smother Sasuke with sand, please, also I'm sending you a casket, a bandana and a motorbike_

Saskuretsu: Isn't it?

Tobi: If Tobi were madara why would tobi still refer to himself in 3rd person as Tobi, for I am an indestructible master of worlds

Itachi: I'm disturbed

Hinata: I would, but I don't really want to anymore

Sasuke: Very much, if I could find something to kill myself I would, and motorhead sucks -takes rope- Damn it, where am I supposed to suspend this from

Gaara: I'm not going back in there, but I'll take that -rides out of room with motorbike-

Saskuretsu: Should I tell him my chihuahuas don't like loud motorbikes

Gaara: -can be heard from the distance- Gah! They're like little monsters!

Naruto: Why doesn't team seven get lines?

Temari: And me

Tenten: And me

Saskuretsu: Cause most arguments and jokes are made by Itachi, Tobi, and Neji, and sometimes Gaara. Do you want more lines, then talk amongst yourselves

Naruto: ...but we've got nothing to say

Saskuretsu: Then stay silent, onto a random subject...I can't wait til spring

Tobi: Isn't that the day when the cat farted the counter right on your pizza and then Tobi ate the kitties tail but then Don Imus sued me for copyright infrigment

Itachi: Who the hell is Don Imus? Did he make the iPod, cause if he did he owes me money for stealing my idea, because I invented milk, mmmm lactation

Saskuretsu: I was looking in the dictionary the other day and I found 2 insults that start with z, zonked(adj)-under the influence of drugs(aka Itachi), zanny(adj)-a silly or foolish person(aka Tobi)

Itachi: Lemme tell the story of how I met Mr.Kitty the panda, I was walking down the road of shattered cubic zirconium, and there was waterfalls of the blood of navy seals

Neji: Don't even finish the story, no one cares

Saskuretsu: Back to what I originally said, I can't wait til spring because

Deidara: Its your due date

Saskuretsu: What the fuck! Stop interrupting me -smashes him with warhammer- Anyway as I was saying this spr-

Tobi: -walking on the ceiling slamming a guitar onto the ceiling fan- Demon be gone!

Saskuretsu: -smacks him off wall with fly swatter- Again this spring, Guitar Hero Metallica is coming out, and I love metallica and guitar hero so its a godly combination, why do I feel like that news wasn't worth the trouble

Neji: Cause no one cares

Gaara: -dragging himself back into the room- Sa...ve...me...from...the dogs

-chihuahuas pounce on him and devour his ears-

Gaara: Glaaaaaaaaah!

Saskuretsu: Bad Tinkerbell bring back his ears!

Tinkerbell: -spits his ears out and scratches Gaara in the eyes-

Gaara: Gaaaah!!

Saskuretsu: And they say Chihuahuas are all bark -throws Gaara's body back into the prison room-

Gaara: No one...touch...my bike

Tobi: My fighting style is chumbawumbafuu...Tobi feels funny -lays an egg- -egg hatches and launches nuclear warheads at north korea-

Hinata: Why am I the host if I don't get any lines?

Saskuretsu: Because you have nothing random to say

Tobi: Tobi would possess a venis fly trap and tentacle rape you though

Hinata: Wow, thanks...next and final question

_hahahah I love it_

_and _

_Hinata:I demand that you have a threesome with Sasuke and Itachi muahaha don't worry I really love you_

_Sakura:Make out with Tobi yay_

_Gaara:I dare you to go high on cookies_

_Itachi:Do the maccarena_

_P.S. I love the uchihas yay_

Hinata: T rating, can't

Sakura: What do I do? Kiss his mask -kisses his mask- There

Gaara: High on cookies? Hm lemme think, thats impossible...but hell I'll try -devours 4 pounds of chocolate chip cookies- I don't feel high I feel sick...oh god BLEH! -pukes cookies all over Itachi-

Itachi: -eats cookie puke- Nyahahahaha! -rolls around on the floor trying to do the maccarena at the same time-

Saskuretsu: I'm suprised no one's told Hinata to put nekomimi's or a bunny suit

Hinata: I'd rather that than a 3-some

Itachi: Not me

Neji: Thats cause you were in it douchebag

Saskuretsu: On that note, lets cut to a quick commercial break

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Saskuretsu: Are you kidding me? No more sponsors?

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Saskuretsu: -takes bite- Bleck, sour

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Saskuretsu: Now here's my personaly favorite

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Saskuretsu: NOW!

Neji: This is the worst get rich quick scheme ever

Saskuretsu: You fornicate with koalas now shut the hell up

Neji: He's onto me

Itachi: I once had a pet Koala, he was my roommate in college and I adopted him from an ethiopian slave trader in the australian canada of new zealand but only cause Russia legalized child porn in 1888

Tobi: Thats almost as impressive as when Tobi drove a Bud Weiser truck right into an AA meeting, it was fun but violent, but Tobi got free coffee!

Itachi: That reminds me of a time-

Sasuke: Stop, just stop, please

Gaara: -crawls back into my room- Hen...tai

Saskuretsu: Die you cockroach!

Gaara: Cock? no gaara want pussy

Saskuretsu: Ok -throws a cat on him- I knew that stupid cat would come in handy

Gaara: Ahhh! not the face not the face!

Kitty: MEOW!

Saskuretsu: Nows a good time for a flash back, but first send money!

**Flashback**

**It was a cold winter morning, in the time before the light, Tobi was marching onward to destroy the mountains of Kawasaki, Poland. But there was one problem, there was no cinnamon toast crunch! The assault on the pillsbury doughboy's fortress was about to begin, Tony the Tiger readied the catapults and-**

**End Flashback**

Saskuretsu: Whoops, wrong flashback, that was the great cereal wars

Tobi: Tobi remembers slaying Trix rabbit...we lost alot of good men in that battle

Itachi: Damn Leprechaun just wouldn't die!

Saskuretsu: I can only imagine what kind of lives you 2 led

Deidara: I was on pretty much all those adventures

Saskuretsu: What'd you do, give the soldiers blowjobs 3 at a time?

Deidara: ...no I was the stealth bomber

Saskuretsu: Close enough, what else is there to say?

Neji: Nothing apparently

Saskuretsu: We still got a quota to fill, damn it people, review

Hinata: More advertisement fillers?

Saskuretsu: Yeah I guess, or I could write a really long line, consisting of a complex story about Tobi, Itachi, or Deidara like I usually do, those take up plenty of space and they don't take too much time to think of I mean its not like I'm trying to be serious or anything and I think I'm accomplishing my original objective with this line alone, interesting this could possibly the longest line in Ask Hinata in which case I would nearly be filling the quota

Hinata: Wow, good job

Saskuretsu: Now its Tobi or Itachi's turn

Tobi: Tobi once trekked the desert in search of the hidden case of fried pork roast, but there was once catch, the roast was posioned so Tobi refried it when he found it and then sold it to a telemarketer who then devoured it for lunch, Tobi laughed at him and defecated on his coffin

Itachi: Oh yeah well

BEEEEEP

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**Remember, to show your support for Saskuretsu Inc. by sending money to 2021 Sealab, lots o' money!**

Itachi: And thats how I lost my virginity

Neji: That was epic

Saskuretsu: So there it is, Ask Hinata 14, send more reviews, NOW!

E/A/N: Yeah, probably the longest chapter I could've written with what I had, plus I'm not one for doing it in a couple of sit-downs, I write it all in one go


End file.
